An Eye for an Eye, the Finger for Defense

My mum has been trying to inject into my head for a while now, about the ‘joy of morning walks’… Every article about exercise, restricting food, not succumbing to temptation, morning walk, calorie watch and the like piles up on my table everyday. One fine day, Harini decides to explore the ‘joy’, I made an impulsive purchase of really expensive Nike shoes, tracks and tees. Now, that’s supposed to be a pushing factor…!

With all my newly acquired accessories, I set out for walks every morning like a happy little puck, with my mum in a park nearby. Listening to the radio, watching people around, listening to the birds chirp, gardeners watering plants, stray dogs sniffing around… It was a different experience altogether, leaving me rejuvenated and afresh for the rest of the day…

However, today was different. Painfully different. After a horrible night’s disturbing, half baked sleep, I reluctantly pulled myself out of the bed… Just one of those i-don’t-feel-good-today kinda days… My mum dragged me for the walk and pooh. This is how it goes. Two rounds of brisk walk and I feel a little better.. Just then, there was this corporation boy in a blue shirt who yelled “What the hell do you think of yourself?” Loud enough for me to turn back and look. His eyes were blood red. He snapped his fingers and pointed at me and said again “You! What the hell do you think of yourself”. I was nonplussed. I ignored and walked on… He ran past me and stood right in front of me. He folded his tongue, his eyes dissecting me from top to toe and he said “What, what?!” I showed him the finger and walked on… the ego-crushed soul vomited all the foul words that he knew in tamil. There was another man, watching this happen… He was in the other extreme. He kept giving me sheepish grins, and to my worst horror, I realized he was treating himself to glory. His mouth and his organ, drooling profusely. Completely disgusted, I ran out of there, looked for my mum and rushed my way back home. Home sweet home.

WHAT do men get outta stalking women? I wish I could shove a needle up that drooler’s trunk and hammer a nail on the boy’s throat. Agreed, women can be bitches. But NO. They don’t stoop down to the level of harassing a man. Every woman has that little dignity which these men lack in totality. We still live in a man’s world, don’t we?

LIFE WITHOUT…

Life without cat, mat, xat, rat, pat,
Life without being stubby and fat,
Life without a gunny bag full of projects to do,
Life without a backache, headache, tummyache,
Life without k, g, psv, r, s ma’am,
Life without mind-numbing classes,
Life without pages of brain-teasers to solve,
Life without having to compete with 2 lakh whizzes to find myself a place to breathe,
Life without having the need to rumble my pea-sized brain to do math,
Life without psyching myself to traverse the horse’s path...
WOULD ABSOLUTELY ROCK, won’t it?!
But life’s not easy afterall, is it?!

Music on my blog!! :)

Mariah Carey's "hero" has been my favorite song for a long time now... What you can hear now (hopefully, if there's no buffering) while you're reading this post, is the same "hero" in my voice, that i'm gonna gleefully call 'my version of hero'..

I got hooked onto this song way back in the tenth grade... Ever since, Mariah Carey has been my idol!

I've some more songs kept here - http://hariniram.multiply.com/music I shall try and upload these on blogger soon!

Twisted DNA : Thanks a ton for helping me do this.. Like i've mentioned before, i'm tech-challenged! :) Thanks for helping me put in my music here! :)

Cheers,
Me :)

An Ode to The Tigers

This is no discourse on Bengal tigers or White tigers of the jungles, for I know nothing about them… This is ode to very special people, who’ve brought in immeasurable amounts of joy in my life, over the last few months…

As a mandatory part of my course curriculum, I’d to do an internship for a month with a company… My mum suggested I send my CV to OfficeTiger. I did so, and the very prompt Mr. Shiv got back to me in just a day and I was hired as an internee for a month, in a jiffy… So firstly *bows* to Shiv for having thought me worthy enough to be part of the Tiger family.. **Double bows** to Sudhalini (AVP – HR), for letting Shiv hire me, even though I’m a novice in HR :) Thanks Sudha, for having the confidence in me, for guiding me through all the projects.. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it.. and I cant wait to get back and work with you guys.. :)

OT was my first experience of what corporate life is all about... It’s filled with a bunch of level headed people, who don’t let positions/status affect their relationships with people. I guess that takes OT onto a different league all together. I’ve never come across any organization where there is so much of a transparency in relationships! Not once during my stay did I ever feel like an internee! Hats off to Sudha, Shiv, Anubhav, Rose, Paro, Pavan, Archana and everyone else who stepped into the HR arena to lighten the day (eg. Manu :)). Guys, working in OfficeTiger has been an absolute blessing for me… Thanks a bunch for everything…

My last day at OT was the most emotional day of my life… And all I remember doing all along, was crying like a little baby, with the cake in front of me looking like a mirage… I dint want to leave… Sooo dint want to leave… I’m just waiting for the day when I’d finish my MBA and get back to OT..



THE BAND

Call us ‘buns n cutlets’ or ‘chilly beaf’ (courtesy:Amar).. In simple words, we ROCK!! :)
Let me take the pleasure of introducing the band to you..

Amar -- Amar, our chosen band leader is an absolute sweetheart! EXTREMELY talented.. (yes, that was meant to be in big bold letters). Music runs in his blood… He guides our team through… He’s one of the senior-most persons at work.. and the way he finds time for practice and makes sure all of us turn up as well, is totally commendable..
He totally freaks out on his super-hot guitar! I must admit I’ve given him a HARD time in all our jamming sessions.. but despite that, all he did was give my one assuring hug, and made me feel like I can do better! Not forgetting to mention, he has inspired me enough to be a bad girl as well! Haha :)
Thanks Amar and Sudha, for making me part of the band… Forever grateful to you, for giving me an opportunity to sing with you guys :)
Amar boy, “YOU da DUDE” :) **hugs**

Vivek --- our lead guitarist, who plays the oh-so-trippy guitar leads to perfection. He still claims to be a ‘beginner’ though.. Tee hee! Talk about modesty! :).. He aint a vaayaadi like me… He lets his guitar do all the talking. Likewise, on stage. He makes everyone’s jaws drop to their knees and tongues wag in total awe over his mastery of the instrument…
Well, he probably thought I was like 35 years old or something.. His eyes popped out when I told him I was 19! And now he’s rechristened me ‘baby’! *chuckles*
Rock on Vivek – you’re destined to scale greater heights.. Keep it going! :)

Johnathan --- (I hope I’ve got the spelling right)! He’s a quiet little thing sitting in one corner while jamming and once you throw him on stage, he’ll bowl you over by swirling around with his base guitar! He’s one guy with immense stage presence… He’s someone without whom the band won’t just function! :)..
John: (huggin his guitar just before getting on stage) My guitar! She’s my darling!
Me: Wife first, or guitar first?
John: (pointing to his guitar).. She comes first!
**my eyes rolling**
That just shows how passionate he is! And that’s more than just evident when he takes on the stage and lets his fingers play the guitar!
Mrs. John, if you’re reading this, spank him! :D
Rock on John..! Rock on!! :)

Clyde --- Clydy boy!!!!! Very the chweeet he is!! :) Absolutely adorable! He’s one BUNDLE of talent.. He makes music outta everything he gets his hands on! He plays the guitar, the base as well, the keys and the DRUMS!! (have I left out anything, Clyde?).. Give him a tava, a tumbler, a couple of vessels and two kutti spoons, I’m sure he’ll assemble his own kitchen drum kit and play ‘sweet child of mine’ on it!! :)
Oi Clydo! You so totally rock!!! Keep it going! Super you are! :)

Edison --- THE crooner!! Now now! One helluva charmer he is! Vroom he comes zipping on his Santro with a bandana + coolers on his head… Full range boy he is! What’s amazing about the OT band is everyone’s just SO multi-talented… Edi’s a pro dancer as well!! And I needn’t say anything about his singing.. Give him the mic and he’ll put Ricky Martin to shame! **bwahahahaha**.
On a serious note, Edi is a SUUUUUUUPER singer! Someone who sings all his songs with so much of passion! He’s got one helluva attractive voice that he does full justice to! Edi’s style is unique.. hear him sing ‘stand by me’, ‘last kiss’, ‘hate everything about you’ – you’ll know what I’m talking about! All in all, he’s one guy who’ll steal your heart when you watch him perform on stage!
Watching John and Edi team up on stage is one joyous sight to behold! Together, they can make audience swoon to everything right from the slowest love ballad to the heaviest metal!
Edi boy – keep singing! Keep dancing! And…… most importantly, keep drinking! :) hehe.

Benny --- **Bows** to Benny, before I can even say anything about him! There’s something about his vocals that gives me goose bumps. Versatility is Benny’s hallmark He can transport you to a different world altogether with his ‘Nila kaihiradhu’, ‘Pramadhavaram’ where the bruhaas flow in effortlessly. And the very next minute, he can do some ‘kaatu kaththal’ and sing something that is really ‘hard to handle’! Benny is another very passionate singer, someone who gives in his 200% everytime he sings.. :)
Benny, you WILL be a singer whom the whole world will look up to. You’ve already paved your way into fame and it’s just a matter of time, before everyone recognizes your talent… We all know you’re a winner, Benny… And when you reach the pinnacles of success, don’t you forget all of us!! Umm.. you still owe me a treat, by the way!

Archana --- the pretty little bride! :) Chana is another beautiful singer… Someone with a very powerful voice… it amazes me at times! Power singing is what she’s best at! Typical rock star! :)
Looking forward to sing with you, girl! Get married soon! :) :)

Now comes the happy man Pavan--- our band manager! :).. He makes sure we have everything we want… He gives us some constructive criticism that definitely helps us get better… Pavan is such a backbone for all of us… Enthu boy he is! Praying frantically, and cheering everytime we get on stage! :)
Thanks Pavan boy… Major you are! Keep rocking! :)

And then there’s Harini--- :D **blushes** -- yeah! Me! Me! Nothing I’ve got to say though… I’m just all in smiles now! A little tooooo happy! :)


Yep – so that’s the OT band for you!!! Together, we ROCK…… We kicked some ass in the Corporate Music Competition 2006… We’re all geared up to kick some more ass in future!! :)

Cheers to all you wonderful people… Thank you soooooo much for being incredibly nice to me.. Love you all..

**Bows**
Me :)

Complexities of the inner me…

My life has always been a mishmash of extremes:
I crave to strike a balance
And reach a state of equilibrium
But life keeps throwing on me these ‘extreme’ situations:
Sometimes with dream-come-true opportunities (that I don’t do justice to)
Sometimes with a tsunami full of sorrow.

I’ve become an insomniac
Fighting my past that keeps looming on me all the time
Trying to clear my hazy vision of future that beckons me
I’m not happy, I’m not sad
I’m not in a symmetrical state either.

My heart craves to dive back into the glorious days of the past
Those days when I was taken care of like a baby in my Knight’s arms
Those days when I was loved for the person I was
Those days when my world revolved around my nearest and dearest
Now everything has petered out in a jiffy.

Pulling myself up from the disconnectedly connected state I’m in
Mollifying myself into believing that everything will be fine soon
Psyching myself to get comfortably numb to everything around me
Opening my eyes to prospective golden opportunities of tomorrow
With God’s blessings, I take a deep breath and get on with my life.

MUSIC, PREETHI AND I...

Everyone who knows me KNOW that Rahman is my God… Mariah Carey is my Goddess, my manasika Guru…

Singing has been my biggggggest passion ever ever ever… That’s the ONLY thing I put my heart and soul into….

Way back in the fifth grade, one of my good pals Preethi and I caught the Rahman fever… We were crazy… I mean really CRAZY…. We HAD to talk about him, dissect every piece of his music EVERYDAY!! We eventually grew up to be his biggest fans ever… Both of us knew, IFFF we’d ever ever get to see him jus once, even a teeny meeny glimpse, someone will have to lift us from the ground, splash water on our faces and help us regain our consciousness!
We don’t adore a Madhavan or a John Abraham… For us, its Rahman. Just him…

Our fanaticism increased in leaps and bounds by the time we reached 7th grade – a time when all our class girls used to love playing basket ball, long chain, short chain, pole-pole, catch-catch, red-letter (the list goes on..) Preethi (I’ll call her P for short) and I used to sing songs together… Sing to our heart’s content – all of Rahman’s songs. He wouldn’t know his songs as well as we knew them! :)
I’m proud to say that our singing did “impact” a few lives…hehe. Soon, we had umm.. can I say fans?! Not really! I’d call them a little “rasigar mandram” (I mean… tiny lil audience)… So P and I got a little professional (ahem.!).. I started maintaining a lyrics book (that’s still one of my biggest treasures – writ in blue ink, 7th grade handwriting). We dint have access to the internet those days… I used to listen to the tapes over and over again and figure out lyrics myself! (now that IS Hercules task!). P rocked at singing base.. and I was mighty decent in screeching in the higher octaves. True to our expertise, P used to adopt the ‘male solo’ parts of songs, and I used to pick up the ‘female solo’ parts.. and lo! Every afternoon we used to “perform” for our lil “audience”! We used to wolf down our lunch in a giffy and get the stage set up! A royal half-hour kutcheri every day… I must admit --- those little ‘kutcheris’ gave us immense contentment.. Those days I shall cherish, for years to come….

Not forgetting to mention our cycle-rides every Sunday!! Oh yes – we’ve explored a lot Bangalore in our kutti skirts and our BSA SLR cycle (o! P had a ladybird!).. Our singing journey continued here as well.. :)

This is kinda off-beat.. Drifting away from what I really wanted to write about.. Anyways, just got reminded of this little incident… I was walking on 6th Main road Malleswaram at like 6.30 in the morn.. P was already in Hindi class and I was taking myself to class as well… I was wearing this REALLY PRETTY pleated skirt and a top, with my two hindi books to my chest, skipping in delight and humming away to glory… There was this lady who walked past (she’s most definitely insane).. She slapped me TIGHT on my left cheek and walked off…. UHHH!! YESSSSSS!! This really happened… This incident amuses me till date!! And P won’t stop laughing when she reads this I know… I walked in disbelief to hindi class – emotionless! Just a little too shocked… P is the ONLY one that knows about this EMBARRASSING incident of mine.. and now I’m blogging about it! Hehe.

Back to Rahman – I had (or should I say have?) this little fantasy… And this is again something ONLY P knew all the while… My room in my Malleswaram house faced the road (uh wait.. I’ll get to the point).. and I had this (you may call it silly) fantasy.. that some day Rahman would take a walk by that road… he’d hear me sing, and shout, “Hey little girl! Whats your name? I’ll give you a song in my next movie”!!! I blussssssshhhh everytime I think about this.. It was and it still is my fantasy… P used to roll in fits of laughter everytime we talked about this.. Deep down, she knows how much this meant to me… :)
Today, with my little singing ventures off and on, I’m one step closer to achieving my dreams (nono.. not Rahman! That’s a FANTASY, remember?).. Only wish P was here with me in Madras.. We’d have lived our passion and chased our dreams together.. Today, I’m doing it alone… but no matter how many miles we’re apart from each other, music will bond us together, for eternity…

PS.: Love you, Preethi.. Miss you so much… Keep singing girl! Keep it going… Don’t get engulfed in the geeky world of studies… Breathe music, you’ll find peace.. :) and btw – the cd I’d promised you, will definitely reach you… :)

To all – Ironically, I don’t have a picture of Preethi with me.. and this blog is going to look incomplete without it.. I’ll upload a picture of hers, soon after she sends me one… (did you get the msg, P?:) )

GROW UP!!

In this world where infidelity and adultery are becoming synonymous with way of life, I’d put my foot down and say that I’m still definitely pro-marriage. I know for a fact that I will not play around with sentiments of my life, my spouse’s, my parents and that of society’s. Commitment is a loosely shunted word. But do people even realize the seriousness of a so-called “commitment”? Human minds sway, but I believe that a strong and a committed individual will not go by these infatuations. Marriage is not about committing to your spouse. It is about commitment to oneself. I want to scream into the minds of all those fickle-minded men --- DON’T ever marry, if you can’t stick to one woman!

In India, some people marry because of parental pressure, peer pressure, societal pressure. Are individuals who fall into those categories, ever happy? Some of them reconcile themselves to fate and live life. And for the others, the d-word comes to the rescue. Yes, I’m talking about divorce. Not so uncommon afterall.

We’re caught between the fantasies of what the heart says and practicalities of the mind’s eye. In reality, we live in between these two extremes.

Singledom can be blissful for those who are extremely career-oriented, who can fend for themselves and who’d like to live on their own terms without being questioned. Marriage is all about a life full of togetherness and love that comes along with making reasonable adjustments and sacrifices.

So all you freakin capricious, vacillating people (I mean MEN) out there, GROW UP!! Marriage is a wonderful institution. But get into this commitment only if you can commit to yourself. Else, stay away from it. Save yourself the sin of ruining a woman’s life.

Renaissance..

“The only permanent thing in this world is CHANGE”… You’ve heard people say that before, so have I…. These sayings would sound rather cliché until you actually have a personal experience and then finally you can relate to it…..

A stone can turn into a rose… A rose can turn into an amoeba… An amoeba can turn into fireflies.. Fireflies can melt and turn into sugar candy’s… Sugar candy’s can turn into ruffians.. Ruffians can become love-birds… Love-birds can become love-devoid birds… Yes, in my weird state of mind, I sure do believe all this is possible…. Things change, from one form to the other, “anywhere, anytime”… One cannot afford to get riveted with these... Well, I did… To an extent that my sense of self depended on fleeting, illusory moments that I once thought would last forever… I’ve fallen down on parched land today, with a loud thud. I can see nothing but drought around me… Not a drop of water to quench my thirst… Mirages betrayed me… Harsh dust-laden winds blew past me, blinding me.. I became unconscious……


I heard an Angel sing, “The only permanent thing in this world is CHANGE”… I woke up faintly, unwilling to buy the Angel’s words… “Why do people change?”, I demanded to know… Angel smiled, holding me in her arms she said, “Change is God’s way of throwing tougher challenges at you… Once you get past these ordeals, God will take you back unto Him…”. I looked at her dismayed... “Move on Harini”, Angel said, “and move on unabashed… God is kind and He will always be there with you…”…. I pondered… I pondered… People come and go, they touch your lives in ways you cannot imagine… “Learn to be attachedly detached” cried the Angel, my soul, my strength, my inner self that I refrained from listening to, when I was carried away by worldly pleasures… I united with my inner being… Calm moments of self-realization… Revelation of universal truth, the way of life….

Mint-fresh gentle breeze blew past me…. Luxuriant flowers I can see… Mellifluous voices hushing “Wake up little girl, wake up anew”… A little bird kissed my eyes open…I saw the world around me... I felt like I had a new pair of eyes… Every being welcoming the new me, with open arms and cherubic smiles… The parched land that I fell on and the water-devoid areas seem like figments of imagination now… I have a new life, a new beginning, bigger dreams, tougher challenges, and a whole new life to live… And I am going to live it to the fullest with vigor, valor and victory! Only for myself…. This is my world, my space, my life… Noone can encroach into my world and embezzle my happiness… I’m a new Harini now… A Harini that has just experienced Renaissance…

Kummi Adi...

“Kummi adi kummi adi” --- music screaming into my ears through my headphones! Listening to this song in loop (I cant count the number of times I’ve listened to it now).. For those of you who are alien to tamil music or jus one of those not-so-updated kinds, this song is from A R Rahman’s latest tamil movie – “Sillunu (or jhillunu.. whatever) oru kadhal kadhai”….

Rahman’s back with his magic once again, to tickle every sensory nerve in your body! He’s woven every song with a touch of class.. He has managed to retain the native flavors yet modernized even our traditional “kummi paatu” without making it sound like a horrendous remix with all the alleged ‘in vogue’ wannabe hip-hop pieces fit into matchless nodes in a song!

Seerkazhi. Siva Chidambaram with his open throated rendition coupled with versatile (and heavily talented) Naresh Iyer’s performance do absolute justice to this song.. Flawless rendition of the kummi paatu! Not forgetting to mention the subtle touch that Swarnalatha brings in and Theni Kunjarammal amma’s trademark style that makes this foot-tapping number an absolute joy to listen to! Hats off to Rahman for having brought in the right voices for the song! He has shown his expertise by expressing authenticity of folk music, yet westernizing the same amidst a modern day iyer – wedding setup!!

“Avalaku enna amba samutharam, Iyer hotel alva maadhiri, thaazham poovena thala thala thalavena vandha vandha paaru!” – An absolutely pretty pun made of a typical shy Iyer bride! Makes me smile when I listen to this line.. :) **bows** to Vaali for lyrics…

Marriages are the nicest occasions ever (minus all the drab dowry-“seeru” routines)… Every mantra, every ritual has its beauty… its significance and sanctity…
Kasiaadharae, Oonjal, Nalangu… Madisaar, metti, thaali, akshadhai…. And the good old kummi paatu!!

This song reminds me of all the beautiful things about Iyer weddings and lets me bask in the moments of togetherness, sweet traditions, celebrations, joy! Join me – “kummi adi penne kummi adi.. yele! ole!”….

By the Beach...

Sanju boy used to think me INSANE for even making an innocent suggestion of going to the beach in the afternoon! “Are you crazy, its so F***in hot”, he’d say!! But yeah, today was one of those not-so-sunny days, and I happened to be with Nish! We were like on the beach road, trying to get ourselves registered for a music competition in AIR.. The beach was way too inviting for us to have let go! I parked my bike and we quickly trod our way to the waters, leaving our footprints in the sands…

Marina beach was oh so dirty today. Not like it has ever been clean! But still! Nish and I mocked our “eco friendly” world, as we sat down and realized we had no living soul other than the crabs, a couple of love birds and some urchins scattered here and there…

Felt so different… To recline amidst such a serene setting! I was amused by the number of crabs that I saw! I was scaaaaaaaaared of them! And Nish and I actually had a crab – talk hehe… From like sizes and colors they can take, to why people EAT those creatures! :)

We sat there for a long long time… Just talking around.. We spoke about “men” – our eternal favorite topic to jabber about! Just then this little sundal boy came by! We were both starved and we couldn’t find food around at the beach at like 3pm! No bajji’s, no butta! And this little child came and said “Akka akka, sundal vaangikongakka!” I must admit I have this fetish for these sundal kids, little flower girls…. I tasted sundal, made sure it was hot! And we bought two moonu-rooba sundals! :D We kicked up a conversation with that child…. He’s one of the cutest kids I’ve encountered… When asked as to what he’s studying, “Third to fourth”, he beamed! And we were like “wow”! I asked him, “What do you intend doing in life? You want to become something, or keep selling sundal?” Pat came the answer, “I’m going to be a doctor, someday, I will”. I was dumbstruck. He left me spell-bound for a while.. He gave us the sundal and went skipping off happily to go about his business…

That reminded me of this little flower girl that I came across, in Besi beach… She’s one girl I absolutely fell in love with… I bought two ‘mozhams’ of flowers from her, instantly! She stole my heart by saying, “Sister, can you buy my flowers?”, (yes in english!) with a sparkle in her eyes that gave away her innocence.. She didn’t beg me to buy her flowers.. She had that self-respect in her and that aura of charm… I still cant forget her face… I was so carried away, I actually told Vinaya (who was with me then), “If only I could adopt her, I would”… I kept turning back to look at her, as I walked my way out of the beach.. And that little girl waved and smiled her best smile, everytime I turned back to see her….. I’m always on the look-out for her, when I go back to besi beach… I’ve never found her again………………

I pondered… how fortunate we are, to actually have a house to live in, lovely parents, friends and dozens of them who care so much for us…. We don’t have to sell sundal or flowers to make a living… I can never swap places with either of the two kids I mentioned, but I admire them for their innocence, their determination to make it “big”, their sense of responsibility (earning for their family and their education), self-respect and most of all, humility… We needn’t learn our lessons from a Vivekananda or a Mother Teresa… “Small” people can touch our lives in their own special way, like they did, mine……

The waves danced to the rhythm of an unknown force. For a moment or two, I got unified with the waves and felt the oneness… Nisha jumped out excitement everytime we saw an aeroplane high in the sky! Time flew…. And we were awakened by the filthy sights of creepy men doting on us.. That’s when we decided to go to Nisha’s home – I mean, Café Coffee Day! :)
We sauntered our way out of the beach, leaving our footprints behind…….

hi :)

heya!!!

i've never blogged for... cos' i cant really write... however, i've decided to put my stuff here off and on.... thanks for dropping by!!

cheers!
harini