Caught in a Quagmire

I never thought there’d be days when I wake up at 5am and wail ecstatically…

Ever since my passion turned into something more serious of the sort, my parents have been shitting bricks. More specifically, my father, my love…

I’ve read about a million people who really really wanted to do something in their lives but are elsewhere now, probably picking up calls in a call centre… Probably sporting the smartest tie and bowing their heads down everyday in front their manager at work. In a strange way, I get reminded of the movie Rock On…. I fear I’ll turn into the grumpy, annoying Farhan Akhtar that toiled morning to night, traveled in the best of cars, lived in the best of houses…. But life for his wife was pretty much hell, cos’ he was lying to himself… The corporate serious life he’d psyched himself to believe was meant to be, was indeed not….

Everyone has problems in life… Large or small, but they do exist. I’m happy. Very very happy with the way I deal with my life with all it’s highs and lows…. But right now, I’m torn. Utterly torn…. Torn by my passion being molested in dignified ways….

Playback singing should have remained a dream for me. I wonder why it even crystallized into reality, opening up new doors in my thoughts…. I should have realized long ago that no matter how much I put my heart and soul into it, people who matter most to me don’t value it, one teeny bit….

Generation gap is one predicament most parents and siblings suffer, alike. It presents itself in greater proportions for me…. Can I do anything at all, to bridge the gap, at least a little?

I’ve absolutely no heart to kill the dream I’ve fostered since childhood… Especially with opportunities are coming in sizeable proportions over the last few months, I’m only driven more passionately to better myself at this art, challenge myself each time and make my heart soar with delight….

I give all due respect to my father’s ideologies. They are not nonsensical, but they’re only too conventional for me to digest and internalize. He loathes every bit of the film industry and any human being who has anything to do with the industry. He believes that life for us is “meant to be” one that encompasses a regular full time corporate job that pays you a “fixed, reliable” salary, month after month. Society will not respect a fluctuating job, more specifically a job in the film industry….

He hangs his head down in shame almost when people ask him about my music. He hates mentioning anything at all. For him, the film industry is taboo and he’s doing everything in his might, to keep his daughter miles away from it…. And how? By fervently talking me out of it every day….

I happen to be going for a show to Coimbatore this Sunday… My first outstation show. How I’d love a situation where I could happily seek blessings of both my parents before I set out…. Here I have mom in one side, who’d kill to see her daughter grow in what she wants to do most… and there’s dad on the other side who’s utterly flabbergasted on the mention of the show… 5.30am and the passionate “please don’t get into all this, I beg of you” speech starts….. and I finally leave to the gym with my heart all heavy…. Torn by his concern on one end, my passion on the other….

Crying all the way to the gym… Running frantically on the treadmill, fighting my tears inside…. Unable to fight any longer, I rush home to blog desperately…

Unfortunately, we have a family friend who’s extremely well known in the Carnatic field. She’s one of the top notch artists who’s received national recognition as well. No prizes to you even if you have managed to guess right. Well, her name was torn to bits by the media on her alleged affair with a famed actor. Besides, family life of someone so big can’t be a bed of roses. Thrown apart by these realities, my dad insists adamantly that I don’t pave my way to fame and dig my own gave.

Further, his concerns are about my future – my married life. Will anyone marry me? Will that someone want to see me pursue a career in music and deal with all the glamor and uncertainty that comes its way? No, he believes. Every man wants his wife to be conventional and lead a normal life with no public scrutiny…

A good friend once told me, failures and flops are far more publicized and scrutinized by the society, media than by your success. And it’s true…

Here I am, caught in a quagmire… My parents mean the world to me… What must I do? Kill my passion and fulfill my parent’s desires or hurt my parents and chase my dreams? I can’t have the cake and eat it.

O Lord… I’m at your mercy…. Please show me the way…..

Fetish o fetish

I went to Lifestyle today...

I gaped and gaped and gaped at a tray..... Utterly awestruck by its beauty... It wasn't only beautiful, it was HOT! I mean.. really! HOT!!!!!
I couldn't resist it any longer.... I quickly shoved it into my shopping bag.... I can leave behind clothes, shoes, everything... but NOT this tray!

Similar things happened a few years ago.... I picked up one pair of footwear after gazing fixedly... I wish I still had it... *Sigh*

For ages now, I've had an eye on an aunt's saree..... Chiffon... Unimaginably hot saree.... So class... so freakin perfect. I mean... what a sareeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Nevermind. I can't have everything... For now, I have my tray. and I'm happy!!!


By now, you've most certainly concluded I'm insane!!! :)

But believe me... I'm addicted. To leopard print. Golden sheen... Black rosette shaped dots.... Wowwwwwwww... I mean wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

I see the tray right next to me... Glistening.... Golden sheen.. Black spots....

Love you, my leopard tray!



PS - I'm sure there's some deep deep connection... Leopards and me... I might jus've been one previous birth.... Aaaaaaaaaaaah. They're jus beautiful! :)

Will I make it?

I really hope patience and hard work pays...

**prayers**
**fingers crossed**

**biting nails**

Atoms dancing in front of my eyes.... Will I make it?
I don't know...

I really hope patience and hard work pays...

Crack in the wall

It’s strange how people whom you place on a mountain top suddenly throw you off the cliff. The two people fondly nurture a relationship with love, time and care…. It grows up to be a beautiful one, all strong, healthy and happy….

Little would you expect an Arnold Schwarzenegger like strong building to crumble to bits. Wonder where the cracks came from, in the first place…

Any idea?

My guesses:
** Take the other person for granted
** Cease to appreciate (not verbally) importance/niceness of the other person
** Expectations mismatch
** Insensitiveness owing to no particular reason
** Change in priorities/people



Got some band aid, anyone? One that will crease out the crack entirely...

Divinity personified

Few people emanate energy than can melt your thickest bone down to powder in split seconds… We place spiritual leaders and living Gods’ on a different pedestal all together, for there’s something extremely positive and an out-of-the-ordinary feeling that you experience, when you are in their midst…

I’ve been blessed infinitely to be around one such person, who is most certainly Goddess Saraswathi’s male incarnation… I can spend the rest of my life at his feet, listening to miracles he creates with his heavenly veena…

I don’t remember what brought me to his concert, at first… I knew I was in for a musical treat… Little did I expect to be transported into a state of numbness… Tears froze and I just sat there, unable to move a limb…. For weeks after that magical evening, I was unable to keep my mind off the reverberations his soul created that transcended all forms music I’ve ever heard… I spent sleepless, restless nights drunken on his music… Divine, to the say the least…

Even youtube videos of sir’s music, makes me shiver… I’m right now listening to a piece that’s sending me chills all over again…

It is unquestionably an experience of a lifetime to watch him weave magic with those fervent fingers… As if the aura he exuberates is not enough, he has an absolutely stellar team of musicians who complement his performance perfectly without overshadowing his touches, one bit… Coordination, precision and timing can’t get more perfect. Every beat keeps you on your toes. I’m always all nervous, holding my heart in my hand, wondering what’s coming up next. And no, even if he’s playing the same piece in two concerts, you cannot tell which performance was better. Each time, he unfolds absolutely unexpected elements and puts you in a state of euphoria yet again…

I feel like an ant when I meet him. Nervous, sometimes… But it’s amazing how he puts you at ease… One of the most chill persons, I’ve ever met… Absolutely no airs about himself.. Unassuming and bubbling with positive energy all the time… Oh so humble… He appreciates… He talks to you like you’re a girl next door… Sometimes, it makes me want to pinch myself to believe he’s as humble as he is…

I don’t think my words can do any justice in describing how superlative a person he is or each of his concerts are…

Rajhesh Vaidhya Sir, I know you will be reading this… Here’s my way of telling you, that I worship you and your music… I will always crave to hear more of you… I apologize profusely for not being able to attend all of your concerts this season… I will make up for it in your concerts to come…

Although I’m way younger than you, I will pray for God’s choicest blessings on you. May the world hear more and more of your music everlastingly… Please continue to brighten lives of your devout fans like me…

I seek your blessings…

Megha


Here's a piece from the Veena God Rajhesh Vaidhya, taken from his performance at Chennaiyil Thiruvaiyaru...

UNFLINCHING DILEMMA

You play tricks with me, dear life
make me sad as a shrunken pea one day
make me spring up and down like an insane frog another day
what hath thou in store for me?

Must I spend this year singing away to glory in studios?
Or handle irrational problems of human beings at work?
Must I clutch onto a pen and paint a thousand words?
Tell me… which side do I sway?

Instincts tell me this year’s going to be great
not just good, but great!
Smiles, thrills, chills, happiness and no pills
But sigh… which side do I sway?

A sudden gush of positive energy
I know not from where
But this unflinching dilemma
I know not how to spare

O good Lord,
Show me a clear way
Heart or head;
Which side do I sway?

Sorry

My dearest darlingest blog,

I know I’ve ignored for too long. I wasn’t even that busy. But I just didn’t get myself to write. I’m very sorry.

But hey! 2009 is here. This year, I shall not take off on a long hiatus like last year.. I'll write.. and I'll write my heart :)

Happy new year to you and all who’ve cared to drop into my blog in the past!

Love,
Me :)

Dark blue

I don't understand why life throws on you situations when you have to cry like someone died.
No reason. No whatever.
Jus blues. and the blues are very very blue.
When is it going to freaking turn pink? I like pink, you know? And I miss pink. A lot.

Zero to Hero

I certainly believe there’s another Dhirubhai Ambani in the making...
Here’s an Ode to Sarath Babu and his undaunted fervor…


Momma lean and poor
Toils all day to earn a Re 1
All the energy and love she showers
To raise her little ones

Multiple jobs she has at hand
Tired, but determined all along
Dwells on platforms, the poor man’s land
Teaches her children, right and wrong.

Many a castle she built in air
Off to school, her many children go
Kerosene lamps was all she could afford
Quality of life couldn’t suck more

Blessed she was with a boy so sweet
God’s own child, he was.
Momma’s burdens he carries on his feet
And turned around their lives full of flaws.

He toiled like an ant
Relentlessly day and night
To noone he could vent, puff or rant
But in the end, he got it all right

BITS Pilani he plunked into
Much to everyone’s surprise
Pavement to campus- a transformation, that.
Indeed he was a superman in disguise.

Polaris pecked him away from there
Three years he worked and worked
Debts he repaid with utmost care
In parallel, he studied and studied.

Three times in a row he tried
To meow the un-crackable CAT
With viral fever he was being fried
Yet, he made it through to IIM A, just like that!

Two years of relentless coaching
Dreams being fondled more and more
“No” he said to companies that poached him
“Idlies I want to sell”, he swore.

2000 rupees
Mumbai platform
Mother’s blessings
Dreams that weighed a million tonnes

Thus, the birth of ‘Food King’.


At ISTD Regional Conference today, I had the privilege of listening to Sarath Babu address us straight from the heart. He spoke about his hardships and how his single minded dedication and focus got him here. With all my gut, I can swear he’d be one of India’s most admired entrepreneurs. He’s well on his way out there…


Sarath, you inspire many a lives. You are non-modestly humble, profoundly young, gigantically sensitive to others and simply big. I know you’re going to be reading this. Here’s **bows** to you and your mother. May you continue to touch many a lives and miraculously transform them all, beneath your wings.

How MEN just get away!

It’s amazing how some men BURY themselves in work absolutely oblivious of environment around. By environment, I mean more of social environment. They’re bestowed with the art of shutting out! They can get so self obsessed that ugh! A tsunami won’t move them.

Like it’s just so amazing how they FORGET for however long their buried in their work and for a much long time after, their near and dear ones!

Here’s a typical scenario:

Girl 1
**last night** 00.17

Girl 1
**last night** 00.23

Girl 1
**last night** 01.04

Girl 1
**this morning** 05.43

Girl 2
**this morning** 08.30

Girl 1
**this morning** 09.23

Girl 2
**this morning** 11.05

Girl 3
**this afternoon** 12.55

Girl 1
**this afternoon ** 14.00

Boy 1
**this evening** 14.25

Girl 1
**this evening** 15.59

Girl 2
**this evening ** 17.46

Girl 1
**this evening** 17.53

Girl 2
**this evening** 19.23

Girl 1
**this evening** 20.20

Girl 2
**this evening** 21.47

16 missed calls
Cell phone log, that.

And this ridiculous man finally calls back…. The women, especially Girl 1 who’s utterly frustrated, devastated, broke, miserable, angry, cry-ish, weep-ish, wail-ish, tear-ish, blubber-ish, bawl-ish, sob-ish, wimper-ish (yea I know all of these ish’s mean the same. I used the thesauraus)…. You get the point don’t you? If you’re a girl reading this, you’ve probably been in this situation 'n' number of times. And if you’re a guy, heck. I can see those ugly grins.

Yea so where was I? The man. The 16 missed calls man. He calls back…. (btw, NOT all men return calls. Even if it is 25097 missed calls, it might still go unnoticed).

Boy: “heyyyyyyyyyyy ^^girl1^^”
Girl: “why haven’t you been picking up my calls? I’ve been so worried. Is everything okay?....................................**sobs ecstatically** OR **puts up price** OR **vennnnnntttss frustration**
Boy: “blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”
Girl: “Okay... I’m sorry. Take care. Eat on time, ^^boy^^… Please take care..”


HUH? I mean really… HUH?????!!!!!!!!
The blah’s that this boy spoke…. I don’t even want to mention! They range from flattery to oh-i-was-EXTREMELY-busy-and-haven’t-eaten-all-day stories to contingency-stories which you HAVE to believe…. Any more tactics? I can’t think of allll of them now!

There’s this boy I know who uses a new one on me:
Ignores calls, text messages on phone, emails, messages through friends, a thousand hi-pings on gtalk and all of the communication channels possible! And when he has seen too much of my vain attempts at reaching him, **ping** comes the much awaited **ping**!

Here’s a glimpse at how this strategy works:
Boy: heya!
Me: hey ^^boy^^
Boy: very busy you have become…
does not answer my calls…
reply to my messages…
eat out with me…
spend time with me…
etc.. etc…
has all the fun in coimbatore…
meano meano…
grows fat and returns…
and keeps falling all over the place!!!
but she’s the bestest!!
Me: okay yea. Your mission accomplished.
You made me smile :)
Boy: **evil grins**
Me: but that DOES NOT mean you don’t see me for the next 500 days or ignore my call
Boy: :) :)


**eyes popping out**
Well, this conversation ain’t lame. He isn’t lame, neither am I. It’s just the WAYYYYY they say it. Ridiculously charming. Adorably annoying. Cheekly cuddly.
And how we melt like useless sponges and forget all the waiting and unattended calls!

And in this case, this boy very conveniently transferred ownership of all of HIS evil deeds onto me! And very sweetly, that! How convenient! I should've recorded these conversations and attached them as audiofiles here! Grrr....


Freakin MEN! How easily you get away! Asses! I feel like poking all of your bums with needle.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

**Sigh**
But we will always love you :)



Disclaimer – I’m NOT the Girl1 or Girl2 or Girl3 registered in the 16 missed calls man's log. And this man holds no real resemblance to anyone in my life.
Reiterating: Characters Girl1,2,3 and the 16 missed calls man are FICTIOUS.
No offense meant, hope none taken!

Low log

Do I call it coincidence or what? I always end up thinking about my beloved blog only when I’m low. So much so, it looks like a blog of some eternally depressed soul. So on those rare occasions when I tell people that I own a blog, I begin the blog advertisement with a disclaimer. One that states, don’t get scandalized by the number of depressing posts out there. It jus so happens, that my blog serves as quite a vent-out-receiving machine, most times…

Now that might get you to think I’m low now… Well, I don’t know. I had long day. A very long one, that. HR Symphony. Event went on well. Not like I had much to do…

Somewhere, there has been some disconnect. I had an amaaaaaaaazing trip to Coimbatore a couple of days ago. A part-adventurous one, too. Strange, I feel quite funny now. Pretty much the other extreme.

Despite all the fun I have, off and on… These lows seem to be hitting quite hard. Hmmpf. Okay, I need sleep. Ta.

I just feel like putting this picture...

Beat the Challenge Blue-Black

Frustration
Pressure
Depression
Anger
Yelling
Deadlines
Ego
More frustration
Creativity block CRISIS
Wakeful night

Aggressive morning
Breathing in deep
Jogging profusely
Taking a nice cold shower
Praying hard
Start over
Search. Look. Browse. Hunt. Research.
Vain
Complete vain
Waste of time
Deadline reminder
More frustration

Seeks advice
Frantic phone calls
Chat scripts and ideas
Stubborn
*Feel good pat* from friend far of

Breathing again
Deeper, this time
Rejuvenating Chi
Fresh mind

Hours and hours of undivided attention
Unbounded commitment
Finished
Proof read
Review
Satisfied
*Smiles*
*Pat pat pat pat*
*More smiles*
*Joy*
*Happy sleep*

She...

Cries when she’s thrilled
Wails ecstatically when upset
Expresses so easily
Feels from the bottom of her heart
Goes out of her way to make someone happy
Finds silliest things cute
Can make people laugh
Expects...
Gives selflessly
Cares more with time
Is oh so sensitive
Espouses what her special people like
Gets hurt so easily…
Laughs like a butterfly instantly
Sleeps like an angel…
Loves like there’s no tomorrow

but...
She
is also
STRONG

Mind your business

Come
Have fun
Laugh
Go

Come
Speak your heart
Cry
Go

Come
Crib
Feel lighter
Go

Come
Hug
Feel human
Go

Come
Admit your confusion
Seek advice
Go

Come
Work
Work more
Go

Come
Sing
Unite
Go


But DON’T you freakin
Come
Comment unsolicited
Hurt me
And go.


MIND your business.

You don’t look like God.
You’re not God.
You can’t be one either.

Look at yourself full of flaws.
I’m way better.
Don’t you freakin come my way.

I’m fine.
By myself.

Ravaging dent

And he kicked her with these.

Her:
Broken heart.
Tears made brooks.
Simple craving.
Ravaging dent.
Pitiful woes.
Darned heart.

Him:
Itchy heart.
Whims and fancies.
Greed, imprudence and more.
Hoodwinked her.
Deceived her also.
Foolhardy heart.



Her:
Kneels before God.
Prays unto Him.
For Forgiveness.
For him.

*Pristine heart*

Impulsive Post

Okay. Jus some blah stuff.

Here's what I really want to do:

1. Write a freaking nice post on this blog. I know I've ignored it tooo long.
2. Bash up the boy who's pulling my leg on Gtalk now. He's calls himself Bee.
3. Learn "Devanganangal" and "La tibki" songs, NOW. Challenging.
4. Finish up my pending articles
5. Jive my life out (I should learn to Jive first)
6. Slap someone's face real hard. Like I mean HARD. Bee seems most likely to be my victim :)
7. Prick the puss off my finger. It's swollen to thrice its volume, for quite a bit now.
8. Buy an Optra
9. Eat corn cheese balls, bread with spinach dip, D9 salad and B29 pasta at Little Italy

I cant think of more.


Actually I thought of one more.

10. Get some sleep now.

Bliss...

Just experienced a moment of bliss…

One moment that sent me CHILLS down my body, mind and soul….
I feel numb now, unable to believe what I just went through…
But it is one moment I’ll remember for life…

God, I love you…

21 years...

I think God has just decided to bless me more and more, as he does a plus one to my age, every year…

No expectations, just a simple day, was all I wanted… A day with my dearest ones… Happy and smiling…

12am to 2am was like two hours of continuous smiles and thank you’s from my end… thoroughly excited and refreshed with every one who called in to wish me…

V boy drove down at 12.30 and mommy was surprisingly nice enough to let me go downstairs to see him. I had the prettiest half an hour, ever… and certainly, more than I’d ever have asked for. It was like a fantasy. I couldn’t believe my day actually began with V’s wishes, that too, in person!

Distance is NO bar for a relationship… Shooti, my nri singaporee friend sent me an email. I choose not to even write about it. But it was something that made my emotions flow criss-cross in an icily numb state of mind… I just wished my birthday was over right then, cos’ I’d already had some very unexpectedly heavenly moments…

Woke up this morning, to many more pretty calls and more from ma, pa and bro… Finally got out of my bed, feeling anew. Refreshed and adorned myself in pretty clothes and headed to meet the Lord. I could actually see Him smiling and me and saying “Rock on” :) He showed me a thumbs up as well! :) The priest laid my flowers at His feet and I just sat right there, thanking Him for all that He has given me in 21 years of my life…

Sanju boy called in alas, after college and we went to Barbeque Nation in T Nagar. Sir loved the place and we had a lovely time together, catching up on times… Also recollecting the years we’ve spent together and how life has changed… We were soon joined by Divu who instantly spread her charisma and changed the tone of the afternoon to a very chirpy, bubbly, high energy one. A birthday card that has the sweetest words etched on it, a cherubic portrait of the two of us framed to exactness that any beholder would cast eyes on and some very pretty kurtas, all wrapped with loads of love and hugs was what she bequeathed me with right then. Little did I know, there was more to come…

We got back home all stuffed with food and lots of burp. That’s ideally what you would call a “pig out” session cos’ that’s how much we ate. We relaxed for a while, we had a megha-song-listening session plus a picture-seeing session coupled with conversation… We then set out for some coffee. Strangely Divu wanted to go to “cotton world” to “check out” some clothes… So we did that and then went to Movenpick and I see V boy, Clydo and Michelle right there!! I assumed it was coincidence that they were there too! And soon beat my head to realize that this was a lil surprise party that they threw for me!!! (Courtesy: Clyde and Divya. **hugs**) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I was just so lost and it took a while to sink in that it’s my birthday and I’m right there with my dearest people!! V boy asked me to turn around and I see a huge box out there, as tall as me. “Open it, that’s your gift”, he said. It was a box that can probably fit in a refrigerator in it!
I open that big thing, just to find my clone in it. A bigger clone. A lifesize teddy bear. Like really HUGE. I lost it! It was the most unexpected thing ever. It’s something I’d take care of more than I might even care for my own child. Here’s what my new family member looks like:


All of us went to Tangerine from there… Sanju couldn’t join us, unfortunately. Raka and Rahul joined us out there. We had a lovely time at dinner. Tripping on each other, roaring and laughing! That’s all we did. Listening to Beatles in the background was a treat as well. It was then time for birthday cake! Can anything ever beat the joy of cutting a birthday cake?! Pretty moments…

Finally bid bye to all… V boy dropped Divu, Teddy bear and me home…

My irreplaceable lil brother who had been counting every minute welcomed me back home with open arms. My cousin Murali and ma lit up and gave me their best smiles. Bro had bought me a lovely birthday cake as well. ‘Fooo’ I blew the candles and cut my birthday cake and sweetened their tongues.

Divu and I then got back to my room… Found a courier from Sangee who’d sent it all the way from Hyderabad. I choked for I couldn’t take surprises anymore. Utterly touched, I opened each one of my gifts and cherished them all…

I don’t know. I’ve never thought I deserved any of this. To be loved is the best gift any human being can ever get. I’ve been showered bountifully with all the love of God through all my wonderful people.

Rohan, Prasad – thanks for the innumerable sms’s all through the day. You were incredibly sweet…

To EACH and EVERY ONE of you who remembered me today… Thanks a bunch. You really made my day…. I love you all so much. I cant cry more…



Happy tears…
Cheers,
Me

Profound Musings…

Life goes around in circles… Ups and downs are inevitable in anyone’s life. It’s amazing how you can laugh your lungs out at one particular time of the day and have the most depressing moment with even just a phone call, a minute or two after that wonderful laugh! Unpredictable, yet that’s how it is…

So many wonderful people have been a part of my life, all through these 20 years… and as I’m nearing completion of 21 years, I realize I’ve never really stopped by to thank anyone or tell them how special they are and how pretty they’ve made my life…

Even though I hate to admit, my happiness/sorrow depends to a large extent on incidents, people in my life. Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is for all of us, but I guess I’m the one notch extra dependant on my friends, family. You know what I’m talking about – emotional attachment. Finding peace by myself, just being with myself is not so easy for me. I prefer a bunch of people around me all the time. Nothing can replace moments of togetherness and fun a bunch of nice friends share – be it over a cup of coffee or a plate full of yummy food. I would give up lone space to group fun, any day…

My life hasn’t changed around too much, at least over the last 2 years. But I see rampant change in my social circle – each one in different parts of the globe, doing different things. Strange that I’m more connected to those outside the city than those inside! And somehow I don’t feel like I’m doing enough to make any of these wonderful people feel that they really mean the world to me…

I know I’m just going to complete 21 years of age and that isn’t much. But I find myself going on my knees and pleading for more time cos’ things are changing a little too fast. My extra emotional conversation with my mom made me realize I’m not even going to have the privilege of living with my parents under one roof for say more than 2-3 yeas from now. God knows work or marriage is going to take me.

Like I was mentioning before, most of my extra good friends have already left the city and are making their own lives as they have shaped destiny… Some of my other friends are on their way outside, to make themselves better lives. Here I am, struggling all by myself. I don’t have the least of willingness to let anyone go. I just want everything to be just as pretty as it used to be. All I want is more and more moments of togetherness and laughter. Seemingly, I can do that only through the e-world or the phone-world now. Thanks to technology, I can at least do that!

Anyways, on that note here I am, adopting another media of technology – blogging, to tell you all lovely people out there, that I miss you and I’m going to miss you more. Thanks for making my life so inevitably pretty and meaningful all along. Thanks for making me what I am. Thanks for just being there, always…

I love you all – family, friends…


**wailing ecstatically; joy meets sorrow**

MY REFLECTIONS, on this special day…

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart"
Helen Keller

There are these moments that leave you bereft of words. Moments those stir every emotion in you and form a kaleidoscope of nothingness. Today was one such day, where I was lost in the world of the challenged, breathing every minute of their existence.

Today, 30 December 2007 is a day chosen to celebrate Music God A.R. Rahman’s 41st birthday(which is on the 6 January 2007). A bunch of extremely genuine, socially conscious Rahman music slaves (that’s a degree higher than fans) decided to do something noble on his birthday. After a lot of thought process and option-exploring-sessions, Rahmaniacs, as they (read- we) proudly call themselves (read- ourselves), decided to spend a day with the inmates of an organization called Nethrodaya, a home for the Blind.

Rahmaniacs certainly have qualities of their idol imbibed in them. They’re bouquet of simple, humble people who belong to different backgrounds united with the power of A.R. Rahman’s heavenly music. We celebrated his birthday, with God’s special people – the visually challenged.

The day began with everybody feasting breakfast king-size. Meanwhile, we had our Rahmaniacs’ band inaugurating the day by invoking A.R. Rahman’s presence amidst us. Singer Pop Shalini, the guest for the day, did the honors, by cutting the piano shaped cake as we all sang “Happy Birthday to Rahman Sir”. The first piece of cake was received by Rani, one of the inmates in Nethrodaya. She was someone whom we all named “Paadum Rani”, owing to her singing prowess! Pop Shalini and myself sang a couple of A.R. Rahman numbers and then our very on Rahmaniacs’ band put together a wonderful show for us all.


The best part of the day, was the contest that we had for the inmates. We had our self-manufactured DJ who played some wonderful interludes of Rahman songs while the inmates had to identify the song and sing it! The enthusiasm we witnessed was rather infectious! We were awestruck by the response each one of them gave us as music penetrated into their ears. They were on their toes, throwing their hands up in the air, to identify the songs and grab the brownie points. Every correct identification of song was followed by truck-loads of applause, and all of us singing the song, in one voice. We even had a tie breaker and quiz for the ones that competed for the first and second position! This was one of the most gratifying events ever.

These people are indeed special. I made my way to this very pretty inmate called Pricilla, first. Introduced myself as Megha and she was elated! She patted my head and said she enjoyed my singing. I held her hands as we chitchatted about our lives. She was telling me all about herself – her routine for the day, how she travels by bus by herself for her computer classes. She felt my hands, my hair and said she’s really sure I look beautiful. She showered generous words of kindness and said, “Please come back and visit us whenever you can”. I was choking already. I did not know if I had the courage to talk to another inmate… I made myself feel really small in front of their might and strength.

Next came four other little girls, who were physically challenged. Rosy, Padma, Madhavi and Selvi… They were all really excited as we talked about each other’s lives. Incredibly touching. I was surprised when they sang along with me, when I did a mini private performance of my songs, on demand! It felt overwhelming to be at my end, where I am an ordinary person at heart, but get treated like an extraordinary person by these people. They tore a piece of white paper into equal fours and asked me to sign them autographs with my contact details. They said, they will be at my doorstep one fine day… I smiled with all my heart and invited them over, fighting back tears at the same time…


Next came, the Paadum Rani, as I have already introduced her earlier. She is an amazing vocalist and sings at concersts, as well. When I asked her, about her achievements and what she feels about it. All she said was that she wants to improve on her singing and her dream is to at least sing a scratch track for a music director. She loves singing “melodies”, she proudly beamed. I held her right hand with a pen, as we signed “Paadum Rani” with a smiley on the A.R. Rahman Birthday Wish Card that did its rounds. Rani expressed her joy as we wrote each letter of her name on the card, together…


Rahmanias were all in Cloud 100… The event filled our hearts in totality. We saw that as each one expressed in their own way. Each one of the Rahmaniacs went out of their way in doing their lil bit, towards the success of this event. Dedication and passion showed in their every gesture. This event is indeed very special to each one of us. We dedicate it to the man, we worship – A.R.Rahman. We are thrilled to have spent his birthday in a way, he’d wanted us to have celebrated it...


Rahmaniacs – Thanks a million for making me a part of this event, so willingly. You guys were incredibly sweet. I’m humbled by all your gestures. Please accept my gratitude with a smile. The very first event turned out nicer than we all imagined it to be. Here’s hoping every one of you get together for many such events. Let’s spread the divinity of Rahman’s music to many more special people, as one family.
In specific – John, Vithur, Narayan. Thanks for coordinating with me all along :)

On that note, here’s wishing all of you Rahmaniacs, a very Happy New Year..
May God bless our Rahman and all of us in abundance this year, and for years to come.

Regards,
Megha

PS:
Log onto: http://www.nethrodaya.org

For more pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/Narayan.Srivathsan/RahmanBdayCelebrationPics