Hey There Delilah

For once, I wish my name were Delilah. And I wish more than anything else, someone sang this song called ‘Hey There Delilah’ for me…

This song just fills me up…There’s something about this song that just makes you feel like an innocent lil school girl, who’s just so blessed to have a boy that loves you more than anything else in this world... Life would be so pretty if all men were like this, meaning every word of this song…


This song does weird things to me, every time I listen to it… And this song cannot get any better than it already is….

If you haven’t heard it, here goes the link:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbJtYqBYCV8
And if you’ve heard it, that’s still the link… Listen again…


Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.


This is the simplest song ever, with the prettiest words, ever…. Love in its most pristine form. One song beats all the love songs that have ever been churned out so far… His voice, the simplicity, I dunno.. Love…

I know I’ve found a song that’s gonna comfort me at all times…. And make me fee like a pretty lil girl in my heart always..



Thanks a bunch, Raka for introducing me to this song, and to a world of pretty music that you so generously share with me..
**hugs**
**smiling with grateful twinkle in my eyes**

FACET PRESSURE!

A lot of you may be able to connect to this – when you are jobless, you are so extremely bored to tears that you’d do anything to get your mind occupied. When you have work, that’s when more, and more, and still more of work come in from nowhere! How the heck would anyone multi-task when work just keeeeeeeeps coming in?!

The last minute master that I am and so happens that the college I study in is filled with many such me’s… We finally decide to wake up and WORK our asses off for the upcoming big event “HR Symphony”, which by the way, all of you are invited to.
Date: 6 December 2007; Venue: Madras School of Social Work, Egmore, Chennai.
Theme => HR – A Strategic Business Partner
I wish my blog had more traffic, I’d have attached e-invites and I could perhaps even bet on the number of people that’d turn up :P

Four days before the event, when we just about begin with the major part of the work, Ms. Megha gets busy, leaving Harini in a fix! Megha gets called for a shoot by Mega TV, she gets a dozen recordings that she’d LOVE to go to, she has someone from the press that suddenly decides to write a story on her ‘journey as a playback singer’ **chuckles**, she’s booked by another coupla event organizers to “judge” some music events, her next movie releases and she’s all excited about it – she attends her first audio release function! Harini’s choking on the other end, wanting to pat Megha’s back at one end and kick her butt at the same time! Now, DON’T picturize that!!!

And then there’s another part of her that writes. Serious stuff. Dont ask me what, thats for me to know and you to wonder! :D She works on deadlines, btw. So that’s more work!! Apart from this, there is this eternal be-a-chivalrous-sister that I have to play all the time. For that lil boy of mine just demands I take him out to eat, libraryfy, stationeryfy….. Momma that gives me gharelu work, daddy that’s behind my life to get my medicines (which I’ve been putting away for a long time now)….. All my friends who have been socially inactive all along suddenly decide to meet their long lost friend called Harini… I just remembered – I have to go to the tailor to get my accessories done for college uniform saree! Damn o damn! Pongal o pongal! Naa dead o deaddu!

Moral of the Story:
• Be kind. I’m suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder. Multiple facet pressure, I say! Hence, the disorder. Reiterating - BE KIND.
• Megha just went a lil overboard with her trumpet-blowing business, that she’d like to modestly call PR **tongue-out smiley**.. Forgive her! Well, she actually doesnt do all of that.. or maybe she does :P
• Pray for Harini and the event that she’s a part of! It better go off well, or people will assassinate her. You don’t want to attend a funeral, do you?





thats me! anyone wants to shove in another hand into me?!

Baby Spree...

Women are LUCKY…. Even if she’s beaten up everyday and shunned by everyone… She’s still lucky. For there’s one thing She can do, that He cant….

I’ve two happy pregnant women in my family… One of them just delivered – a pretty lil baby girl! :) so that makes it only one more pregnant woman now.. :P

Amma, appa, my cousin, his wife and I went over to the hospital today, to see the baby. We stepped in and saw a lil thing eyes tightly closed, hands clasped so tight, sleeping so cosily. She had such tiny hands, legs… and a really tiny nose.. even tinier nails….. I watched this lil creation in AWE… and I still cant get over it.. I could see her breathe.. and she freckled, moved her arms and legs while still fast asleep… I was so tempted to touch her… but my finger looks HUGE in comparison to her.. how can babies be so tiny?

I was just so thrilled to watch that lil thing in her own world. She’s just three days old. The joy on everyone’s face there was more than just evident… the grandparents were happy on their newly acquired status. The mother gazed at her creation, her emotions I just can’t express… Daddy boy was all excited… saying “thanks” to all the “congrats” that he received from every one of us. The lil baby’s older brother stood right next to his 3-day old sister, guarding her from all of us. He would say “don’t touch” if any of us came closer than he allowed us to! He demands that his baby sister be called ‘Sreeja’…

I keep chatting with the currently pregnant sister of mine…. Listening to her describe what she goes through everyday fills me up…. This is one of the most amazing creations of Nature… I mean, to have a real living being created inside you…. for all that the mother does just to feel the lil creature kicking her….

My mum recollected so fondly those days when she was carrying me and then my brother… how she took care of me when I was jus as tiny as ‘Sreeja’… to what food I ate… how I crawled… took my first walk…. To how I would not sleep all night and get my mum to rock the hand-made saree swing… how I cried when I went to pre-school and refused to eat… how I’d eagerly wait for appa to come back home from office and say “dhaa dhaa dhaa dhaa dadaddada dhaa dhaa”, that was my way of explaining what I did all day, apparently… the frocks that I’d love wearing…

I KNOW I’ll make a lovely mother… someday… but.. I want to have a baby NOW! Wait… I’m not married yet…! And I don’t have a boy yet!! O wait… I don’t even have a job…. Uhm.. Aint I still studying…? O btw, I’m still not officially allowed to enter a pub.. which freaking means I’m just TWENTY years olllldddddddddd!!! Snap. The baby will have to wait….!



ps - i shall put up a picture of Sreeja, after i get one.. until then, here's me :)

Over the last three months...

Ranju just made my day! She told me that she read my blog and she really liked it… She mentioned in particular, a couple of blogs that tempted me to want to go back and read it….

I just realized anyone can figure out my life through my blog…. It just traces my journey over the last two years….. However, I figure I haven’t given it much of an update in terms of my life at the moment… So here goes it:

U G seems to have gotten over many years ago… P G is a different life altogether. A whole new bunch of friends… I’m doing my masters in the field I’ve always wanted to be in and I’m enjoying every bit of it, despite me regretting sometimes for not working hard enough for my cat xat stuff…. Nevertheless, God has been very kind to me. And MSSW is certainly a blessing. And I’m sure it will add value to me life…

My first few days out here were rather bumpy. I dint like anyone. People assumed I’m a geek. I’m jus not the hey-she’s-a-nice-girl kinda impression giver for the first few days… I take my own time to open up and find footage… But now it’s all cool! Doing well in exams, had a blast during culturals, been given a generous post called “Vice President” by the department, and hence doing some serious work for symposiums to be held…

I’m really happy to have gotten along so well with Divya… She’s been in MOP for three years, but I’ve never really known her… and now, we’re good bumchums :).. I should call us partners in crime! :p We compliment each other perfectly in music, fun and studies! Boy-meeting sessions (hehehehehe), movie watching sessions, combine study sessions, shopping sessions – its been just about 3 months and so much of fun!
Here’s divu and me…


Music on the other hand is being nice to me too. I’ve had my first two movies doing a decent job at the box office. Eagerly awaiting the release of my upcoming movies… and certainly waiting for more offers to come in! :)
Met some biggies in music in the last couple of months – A R RAHMAN, Kartik, Naresh Iyer, Rahul, Krish, Tipu, Chinmayee, Priya Subramaniam, Prasanna….. feels nice! :). Vijay Antony sir, Imman sir and Srikant Deva sir have generously given me the opportunity to render some of their compositions…
Here’s me, with Imman sir at his studio…


The A R Rahman meeting was a rather astounding experience… its all I’ve ever wanted ever since I was in 6th grade. Seeing the man in flesh and blood was completely scintillating… I’m thankful to Ooh la la program for giving me an opportunity to meet the God, even though I chose not to stay in the program beyond prelims. I just watched the man in awe, and my eyes filled up… I don’t think anyone can be more simple and humble like him….. I wish I’d get to sing for him someday...

Hmmpf.. So life’s moving on….. and I’m just making the best out of what I have at the moment…

Shooti, Nisi, Sangee, Icy, Taki, Indu, Valu, Cheri, Reynah, Preethi – I miss you…
Banju, V boy – you make my life so pretty, thanks a bunch…. I love you both..

I’ll write soon..

Regards,
Me.. :)

Smileys! :)

this smiley's nice!!!! :)

i think its chinky :D

i'm trying to figure out when my face looks like that.... when i catch my brother on phone with a girl, perhaps?! :P

i just realized i LOVE smileys.... i mean, they're soooooooo cute! and so so so expressive!!! i wonder what life would be like without these emoticons!!! dull and boring :(

"one picture is worth a ten thousand words" - chinese proverb.
smiley's are such a beauty. so pretty! and i think yahoo messenger has the cutest smileys ever!!! and such a joy to use!! the hugs smiley.. the pheww smiley... the laughing on the ground smiley.... :)))))))))

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. i love smileys!!! i'm jus so happy smiley's celebrated their birthday recently! and when ndtv actually featured that as part of their news, i was like yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy! :) :)

smileys are like an identity by themselves... jus really pretty creatures that make me so happy! even the angry and crying smileys rock! :) :)...

if i were to be born again, maybe i'll want to be a smiley! :) yellow face. two dots. one curvy line!! simple life!! :) :)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....
look below:
thats me! :) red face, though!

SPREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

My latest craze - Shopping. Actually not latest, its always been there... But it jus seems to have been proposing serious threats to my pocket over the last few months. More so over the last one month. Wondering how many ppl would've "cast eyes" on me... Mom's been screaming at me, so has bro. But i still seem to be shopping like in quite a reckless manner...

Help me put a FULL STOP.... or atleast an exclamation mark?

Saturday, today...

Ah. Lousy cricket match, that... They should probably hang these umpires. I mean, who are they to decide the fate of the game? Cant technology do it instead? Hmmpf..

Saturday, today.... and for a change, I got into my pair of lousy shorts and tee, n the afternoon, couched onto my sofa and watched cricket match. Yeah, me. I watched cricket match.
Felt nice to actually stay home on a saturday... No work in coll, music, no class no nothing... Friends in different corners each doing their own thing...

I realized, sitting at home, biting on some pijja+garlic bread+choc brownie, watching tv is actually a nice way to spend a lazy afternoon...
Normally,I'm either recording or coffee house hopping or lunching with friends or shopping on saturdays.... Today was pleasantly different... Got myself to do some writing as well.... Not bloggable stuff though. Nevertheless, I let many a glitter pen do some art work in a pretty book that I have...

Aprom... avlo dhaan. I just feel nice! :)

IN YOUR HANDS

Once upon a time
lived an old man
by the brook
in a hut so small.

Blessed he was
with wisdom
God-sent mannah he was
for villagers.

Questions came from the north
south, east and west,
The old man answered them all
with precision and calm.

Questions about life and death,
the sun and the moon, heaven or hell,
The old man answered them all
with grace and charm.

Questions from the tall and healthy
Weak and small, Young, old and the bold,
The old man answered them all
with patience and warmth.

Many a villagers came
flocking to his abode
Day after day
he answered tirelessly.

Two little siblings
a boy and a girl
twitched at the old man’s fame
and determined to put him to shame.

Racking their pea-sized brain
to manufacture a plan
fool proof and smart
to catch the old man by his thumb.

They thought and thought
of a question
that the old man cannot answer.
they thought and thought.

Eureka! The two screamed outta joy
A little bird was caught
tightly held in the boy’s palms
feathers outstretched his tiny hands.

They would ask,
“O wise man, is this bird in my hand
dead or alive”
either ways, the old man would be caught.

“Alive” if the old man says,
the boy would squeeze the bird
to death
to prove the old man wrong.

“Dead” if the old man says,
the boy would let go of the bird
to fly
to prove the old man wrong.

Thus the two siblings rejoiced
at their brainchild
The million dollar question
that would put the old man to shame.

Alas, they went to the old man and asked
“O wise man, is this bird in my hand
dead or alive”
eagerly they waited for an answer.

The old man smiled
and said,
“Whether the bird is alive or dead
it is in your hands”



Maketh your life or
Breaketh your life
Blame not destiny
Blame thyself.

Sometimes...

Sometimes people can be mean. Really mean.
Sometimes people just think it’s their birthright to hurt people
Sometimes people are just SO insensitive
Sometimes people think they’re God
Sometimes people look through you and pretend you don’t exist
Sometimes people ridicule the art you worship
Sometimes people take you for granted
Sometimes people just assume you’re a shit-taking machine
Sometimes people mock your brainchild
Sometimes people order you to do things THEIR way
Sometimes people imagine that you’re some auto-energized ogre
Sometimes people place donkey’s worth to your prized “time”
Sometimes people forget good old days and move on letting you rot
Sometimes people just don’t like you for what you are…



In strange proportions I’ve experienced all of the above, over the last two weeks...
Hence, the shitty feeling. I’ll get over it.

I’ve always been careful with money
Cautious, very cautious.
However, sometimes I’ve spent recklessly
Like water, water.
Today, I realize the worth of money – courtesy:
Parents. My Parents.

Randoming Babblings...

Man…… it feels so so so good to have net at home! Pooh. Comforts –ultimately that’s what all of us want to have. I used to loathe sitting in those dingy cyber cafes trying beat those keyboards frantically cos’ they were jus so annoying…
I finally feel like my life’s normal… sitting in my room, late night.. in front of my comp.. orkuting, chatting and trying to fill up something in my long-ignored blog :)

I’m listening to my “nee kavidhai” now.. and I like it! :D like really like it… I’m so happy. **pat pat on my back**

College is edho okay okay.. nice bunch of seniors… But I’m longing to have fun with my friends – shooti nisi and all of them… also, prasad anthea and all of them… and sanju and v boy ofcourse :), that goes without saying!

You know what? I’ll come up with a decent post soon… this hardly qualifies to be a blog entry. None of my posts qualify :). Like akx rightly mentioned, I sound like a two year old! I’ll try and come up with a “grown up” post next!

Until then… tata. :)
Me.



PS - i dont know why i put this picture. i just put it. doesnt it make you want to scratch your brains with like your toes or something? or maybe something worse. i dont know. you teme.

Buzzzzzzzz........

I wish I were a bee…
Like a nice chrome yellow bumble-bee…
I dunno if I’d sting and all..
But yeah, I’d love to manufacture honey.
Maybe even sell it to dabur.
So that they can add all that they add and sell it in bottles.
With my picture on it.
But I’m a fat bumble bee. With dimples.
So they should just put my picture.
And mention – “Source: this pretty bumbee called Harini”

How’d I go about manufacturing honey?
I’ll first fly all around…
Chennai Bangalore everywhere..
I’ll go to Singapore also. And meet some bee friends of mine there..
Yeah, so I’ll pick a pretty garden..
With many color color flowers.
Pink. Purple. Red. Pink..
I’ll go flower-hopping..
I’ll dance tra-la-la-la… and sing aloud…
All flowers around are jus gonna watch my performance in awe
They’ll all call me to their home..
And I’ll dance and sing for all of them..
Special bum-dance for certain extra nice flowers I’ll do..
And I’ll go to my home with loads of nectar.
All my baby bees would be waiting for me..
So would my hubby bee..
I’ll give him a hug… and put them all to sleep.
But God made me a queen bee.
So I have to work. Tirelessly.
I’ll store all the nectar in my hood.
And then call dabur boys.
I wont let them burn us up.
I’ll jus give them my honey generously.
cos’ they’re making me famous
By putting my picture on their bottles
that reads – Source: “this pretty bumbee called Harini”

Booooo...

i made that bhooth.
i was making my way to the r t o, but i took the wrong turn and ended up in a sudugaadu... thanks to certain ppl :P
full insipiration came off. the bhooth in moi sprouted.
hence, the art work.
dont smirk. i'd like to call it that.


ps. sudugaadu - graveyard.

Bitchini. Thats my new name.
I'm not skimpily clad.
But slightly full angeryilycrazy mood.
Hence, Bitchini.

Mi$hmasH

if you were to take a scan of my brains,
this is exactly how it will look.
now.

Huhn?

Beat boxing?!?! Huhn.

Dabba dabba dee dooo deeeeee thuba thuba thuba poooooooooooooo!

Yay! I’ve become American Idol, too..!

Honors please? An album for me, perhaps?

**smirk**

For you, Shooti...

shooti ma, here's my treat.... i cant treat you in person now.. but please accept this for me...

lots of love,
me :)

PS - to all: shooti knows why i'm treating her! :)

Happens, sometimes…

More often than not, we forget the fact that at the end of the day, all of us, are HUMANS… “Saadhaarna manidhargal”, susceptible to make mistakes…
In this fast-track world full of rubbing shoulders and struggle, one is ALWAYS under the pressure to perform to one’s best…. Sad but true, that CANNOT happen all the time…. Reasons could be psychological, highly practical, one of those everything’s-wrong-about-today kinda days…. Or it could even be just a state of mind, that doesn’t allow someone to perform to their fullest potential on a particular day. And I certainly think that is pardonable, rather entirely justifiable…

On that note, I realize how much ‘pressure’ can affect a person’s confidence levels, mental state – results of which are evident, rather tangibly. We must learn to ACCEPT failure (if I could call it that), gracefully.

I’m no big shot. I’m not even close to becoming one. Neither do I want to.
Everyone faces his/her fair share of pressures everyday…. My passion-turned-part time-profession Singing has put me under those numerous circumstances of pressure…
To cite the latest – “SPB Ennoda Paatu Paadungal”….
Well, to even be seated around the legend would give the best of singers goosebumps, or even those weird stomach itches… Needless to say, to be given a chance to sing in front of him with the cameras right on your face is all the more ghastly…. It’s just overwhelmingly frightening…
It so happened, that I picked a tough song, I thought I could pull off well…. I still believe so. However, I took the whole thing too casually, I kept humming the song along with the track and assumed I got it all right. Went straight over for the rehearsal and messed up the song from top to toe. That was like a slap on my face for being so over-confident. I was all geared up clear the mess I made of myself. That day was tiring though – sitting in a dingy room with no fan from 9 to 5…. I decided to get myself a good night’s sleep and start working on the song afresh from the next day. My plans went kaboom when I received a call at 8.30 that night from jaya tv, promptly intimating me about recording the very next morning! Highly unexpected. Pooh. I suffered that night.. *very very very tired* *angry* *depressed* *tensed*.. I still managed to practice hard until my voice finally gave up…
Went for shooting early next morning… Ran over the song a zillion times in my head. I still dint have a good feeling though… I knew I’d do better than the rehearsal (thanks to practice session that night).. I wasn’t praying for miracles to happen. When I was finally called on stage to sing, I dint have the presence of mind to even drink water before getting there, my throat was all dry and dead. And there I was, trying to sing one of the toughest songs, ever… I sang like a pregnant woman, taking deep breaths after every word, leaving everyone in unease.
A lot of lessons I learnt – 1. NEVER get on stage without copious amounts practice...2. pick songs that showcase MY style more than anything else... 3. Sometimes, things go wrong, take it well….
The show was telecasted this Saturday…. It’s more like public disgrace of myself… But no, I’m not as embarrassed as I should be. I KNOW I can sing better than that. The same song. Its easy to hold responsible those ‘extra’ factors and say it-was-jus-not-my-day.. But no again, I blame myself just as much as I blame those ‘extra’ factors…
I know I will not hit the stage once again, without adequate practice. I’m working towards it, and I will get there, someday……
This hasn’t been my only ‘failure’…. There are numerous along the lines of music that I can cite…. My very first recording with the maestro Illayaraja that bombed, my very first recording with Yuvan that just slipped outta my hand, my two attempts with L V Ganesh that failed miserably…. If I let these affect me, I should probably quit singing :). But I won’t…
I forgive myself for not doing my best sometimes, cos’ that never happens deliberately. I choose to laugh off those pretty many horrible-singing-instances and take a break from having to be the best all the time…
Nonetheless, I’ll do all I can to keep moving up the progress-line…
On that note, I look back at my lil achievements and sign off, with a big smile….. :)

Snowed down by the power of music…

Music is such an ocean… Limitless… Boundaryless… Timeless…

It takes a whole cycle of births and deaths to attain moksha, saints say. I wonder if that entire cycle is enough time to understand the depths of music… its technicalities, its complexities…

If God gives me one wish, I KNOW now, that I’m gonna ask him for musical bliss, and nothing else. I want to throw myself into the ocean, and forget myself… all I want to hear is the resonance of Om, ringing in my ears, all the time…

More often than not, people put on some music in the background and go about doing their work…..
Try this – shut yourself out from the rest of the world. Turn off lights. Plug your headphones. Turn up volume. Put on some soul-stirring music… Close your eyes…
I lose myself, everytime I do this…. It transports me to an unknown undiscovered world full of mystery and calm. I place this experience 20 steps higher than meditation even. Such is the power of music. Listening to the resonance of every single instrument in isolation even when they’re all played as one, into your eyes…

I feel taken over sometimes, when I’m blinded amidst magic of music… While my eyes are hooked to the farther most it can see, from the beach shores whilst the waves dance to the rhythm of an indefinitely powerful force… While I kneel before the shrine, my heart at His feet… While I’m drunk on the sounds of tanpura…. While crooning raag yaman kalyani….. the experience is divine.. far beyond heavenly…

‘Voice’ is one of the biggest wonders of the world. One of the finest creations of God.. No two people in the world sound the same. It is one instrument that can be cultured and refined to melody…. I’m not going to let my voice rot another single day… I will nurture it, mother it and foster it with all my heart, for myself and for God…

Parting Ways...

The depths of emotions I feel right now… Its something the numb me hasn’t felt in a long long time… I’m quite out of the “comfortably numb” shell I got myself into, almost a year ago…. I realize now, that I’m stil my same old emotional self.. just that, it hits not as often as it used to earlier….

I kinda got used to people walking in and out of my life…. I psyched myself to believe that I’m “okay” with it….
Everything’s changing in my life. Coll over. I’m not happy with results. I gotta job. I don’t have a PG admission. All this is still okay.. BUT shooti’s leaving…….

It dint hit me all along, until I had a gtalk convo with her, like a couple of minutes ago….. Shooti is one of my closest friends ever….. I cried like this exactly a year ago, when certain inevitable things happened in my life….. parting with shooti, feels just the same……the same… the same…….

What shooti’s done to my life, I wouldn’t ever be able to write… She’s made me feel pretty, she’s patted my back when I deserved it, she’s wacked my ass when I needed it, she’s mothered me all along.. she’s helped me grow into the person I am, from the very naïve, gullible fool that I was once….. she bears with me even when I’m most annoying, moody, nutty…. Tolerant. In totality.

Shooti has always ensured she gives me her time… infinite hours on phone, those “moments” we’ve shared over a pastry, at the temple...... I don’t know. Words are getting stuck somewhere in my head. It just wont come…
She’s leaving… she’s going away to Singapore to her daddy and mommy and tush bro boy… Embarking upon her, a whole new life.. new country, new people.. carrying with her, some very special memories, chasing the sun…. She’s leaving behind people whom I know mean the world to her…. her friends…… Shooti has however left with me, priceless possessions – her songs. Very pretty songs, that she guards and feeds like a baby to her bosom…..

I know I’m a lucky bitch for having gotten to have her in my life. She’s way too special to me. You won’t know how much. I really don’t know why life has to get us all to part ways…..

Shooti, I’ve been writing this thru our conversation….. it looks battered and unorganized.. but I guess, that’s how its meant to be. I wanted to TRY expressing what I feel for you. But words fail me so bad. I hate myself.

Shooti, its HARD……. Its so hard. Really. You don’t know…. All along, it wasn’t hitting me….. I don’t know why this one convo of ours pushed me to the extremes of my emotions……. So much so, I cant write.

Girl. You will live. And you will live well. Noone can stop that from happening. Not even God… You jus be a good thing that you already are, Shooti. I don’t know. I’m going now. I can’t write more, bye. I want to cry. In peace. Bye.



ps. - thats shooti and me. all smiling and happy.... thats how i feel, when i think of her.... shooti, you're my everything shooti. you be happy and nice.....