18 September 2006

Complexities of the inner me…



My life has always been a mishmash of extremes:
I crave to strike a balance
And reach a state of equilibrium
But life keeps throwing on me these ‘extreme’ situations:
Sometimes with dream-come-true opportunities (that I don’t do justice to)
Sometimes with a tsunami full of sorrow.

I’ve become an insomniac
Fighting my past that keeps looming on me all the time
Trying to clear my hazy vision of future that beckons me
I’m not happy, I’m not sad
I’m not in a symmetrical state either.

My heart craves to dive back into the glorious days of the past
Those days when I was taken care of like a baby in my Knight’s arms
Those days when I was loved for the person I was
Those days when my world revolved around my nearest and dearest
Now everything has petered out in a jiffy.

Pulling myself up from the disconnectedly connected state I’m in
Mollifying myself into believing that everything will be fine soon
Psyching myself to get comfortably numb to everything around me
Opening my eyes to prospective golden opportunities of tomorrow
With God’s blessings, I take a deep breath and get on with my life.

7 comments:

soulsongncurry said...

Thank God for the last bit on that rather..sad and sombre note....Courage kid....:)

vinay said...

hey....what happened dearie?? Life is like a train journey...many people come and sit near you...you may strike a conversation with them..or maybe even get close to them...and put a hand around them...but when their destination comes they get off......no point being sad.....continue you journey till you reach your destination..your destiny.....and be the singer you want to be.....take the world by storm...

Harini said...

@soulsongncurry
hehe. doesn't help if you dont move on, does it?! :)

@vinay
was jus in my lowest of all moods vinay... jus ranted! i'm ok... not a depressed child.
true, chasing my dreams! lets see :)

Anonymous said...

"Too much worries about past & future shall only make your present intricate."- so why not live in the present moment coz happiness is never in the past nor in the future, it's hidden in the moment at hand...:)

sruthi said...

"Those days when my world revolved around my nearest and dearest"

your life still revolves around d ppl you love... it always will...

ultimately the people who matter most to you.. WILL STICK ON..

Harini said...

@sunil parmar
yep... wish it were that easy! but yeah.. making a conscious effort to live fr the moment! :)

@sruthi
true shooti.... my family... i've never realized how much of a support they are... mum specially...
missing them so much.. waiting for friday!

nsuresh_rasr said...

Hi,
I always like to view ur blog just bcos u r writing from ur heart. Me too like to hear music (more of Illayaraja). I don't follow the carnatic music, But one of my close friend follows and he gave me this link of raagam's which i thought might interest u.
http://www.geocities.com/ilaiyaragam/
Do blog more.
Cheers
nsuresh_rasr