13 November 2012

Blows again

For what? How? When? and most importantly Why?
Those unknown familiar feelings
Yet so new and lost
Cherubic blushes
Meaty dreams
World of presuppositions
Priming and setting up
Blew away
Like a whisker in the wind

Brown tears
Yellow fears
Red scares
Lonely dares

Let down
And disappeared into the whims of unknown territories
Where art thou?
Why appear?
Why disappear?
Why appear?
Why disappear?

Red deep inside. With blood and emotions
Red over and over again
You once
He once
She once
You again
He again
She again

Do I really care only about me?
That tiny ray of hope
Blows again

22 September 2012

The Threesome.


Some answered.
Some unanswered.
Some in-between.

And All three kill.

19 September 2012

That Thin Line between Humor and Insult

I have a unique laughter. I've lived all my life with it. It's an inseparable part of me and I take pride in it.

There are different kinds of laughter, though. Sometimes coy, sometimes social, and a special few times a distinctly loud, boisterous, prosperous laughter. One that does scare some. Only some, though. Most times, ppl laugh after they hear me laughing.

Attention shifts from the joke/ situation in point to - oh man! Listen to her laugh.

I realized I had this quaint laughter in my early school days. When I noticed that it totally stood out. I used to be worried about the reactions to the laughter back then when I was naive, insecure and struggling to find my identity...

Over the years I realized how my laughter is my best medicine. Some people adore it. Some admire. Some are shocked each time.

The ones that mean the world to me love my laughter as much as they love me. Whole heartedly... Some of these dear ones are extremely sophisticated, high society types. Yet they enjoy with me even when I break out with the loudest laugh in a super fine dining restaurant... They tease me too, but in a way I can enjoy it too...

Several pretense, acquaintances and sad to say colleagues are embarrassed in their deepest nerve when they hear me laugh.

If you know you are one of those, here's what I have to say to you in this context:

  • Fuck off. 
  • If you can't deal with me when I'm laughing, don't even come near my vicinity
  • If you're embarrassed, please be so
  • If you think I need therapy - I feel bad for you. I wish I could show you how much your pretense model of the world sucks
  • If you want to make annoying jokes like - "Un husband gaali", "Do you wake up in the middle of the night and laugh?", "What would happen if she laughs while they're having sex", "Do you laugh in your dreams?" - remember, everytime you say stuff like this you earn my curses. 
  • There's a very thin line between humor and insult. 
  • You might have tons of filth in you that other people hate.

You don't choose your voice tone, your parents, your looks, the way you sneeze, the tone of your laughter etc. God makes you this way.

To those genuine, sweet people of the world - Don't let anyone take away your Essence.

You're special.

And there will always be people who will love you for the person you are.

Everyone else can fuck off.

26 August 2012

Coal'd Soul'd

I loved
I lost

I hated
I lost

I turned into stone
I lost

I loved again
I could lose

I couldn't hate
I may lose

I will turn into stone
I don't care if I lose


Just be.

And my Soul.
Pure as burning coal.
Burning with love. hatred. stones and a lot of Question Marks.

Burning. Like you.
Not for you.
Not for your love.
Not for your careless whisper.
Not for your scented shadows.

Your coal'd soul'd Question mark. 

Strangled Love

Parents. Love. Their Dreams.
Which turns dangerously into a system where they go out of their way to make their children their clones

Children. Love. Their Dreams.
Strangle. Struggle everyday to find a balance between their real identity and forced upbringing identity

Twisted. Twisted world.

21 June 2012

Twisted Symphony. Deep Whole.

Swollen with love. For life. My life.
Burdened with pressure. My life. For him
Tempted to walk it all by myself. For myself. My dreams
Bonded by love. For them. My life.
Choked with love-prayers. For me. From them
Nested in my prayers. For me. For peace
Craving for a certain him. My joys. My tears. And us.
Throttled by misfits. For noone. Or everyone
Rattling inside my inside. For me. For me.
Living this twisted symphony. For them. And me.

Liberation, I seek
Revolution, I hope
Love, I crave
Life, I desire

For me. For him. For them. For us.

Get what not
I know not
Why this way?
Know I not

Be it this
Live life let
Go be one
Seem no one

Get so fast
Be what got
Good life. Life good
Will come to you

Faith keep you
You keep faith
Life be that
What you got will get
Lots more better more

Smile and live
Twisted symphonies shall fade
Harmony though far away
Shall come near loud and clear

With open arms I welcome that gear
Leave not my house or my near
Be there and smile some real
Light my life. Fill my soul.
Sleep in my whole deep here.
Forever now. Now forever.
Be there in my whole deep where?

18 May 2012

Insecure Buffoons

Talent so little
Ego so bloated
Matter so little
Pride so bloated

Mastery so little
Fake-Powers so bloated
Ethics so little
Threats so bloated

Wearing on hats of wannabe authority
Trying desperately to conquer enemy's throne
Threat. Conceit. Stealth.
They try it all

The Mighty looks over and laughs silently
Try all you want, you petty being
For Victory favors the brave, the righteous, the smart and wise

So my dear, Go take a walk. TRY, at least find smarter ways to TRY to outbound the Mighty
You're allowed to fail
Just like you're going to

Good luck, anyway!

08 April 2012

Light a New Lamp, Dear Lord...

I've been wanting to write about this for long.....

There's been one birthday post every year ever since this blog came into existence.... Quite probable I might've missed last year...

This year however, I really really wanted to write. And I don't know....

So here's recollecting a small portion of what I'm calling Birthday-Eve.....

After having finished a fabulous batch of NLP Practitioner Training at Mumbai, I decided to take a stroll by a place nearby and hit on Juhu beach....

Fascinated I was, by the tons and tons of Chaat stores and just how different the beach there is, in comparison to the Chennai beaches....

I had a really pretty time....

It was quarter behind 12am.... And when I was leaving the beach, walking on the footpath, towards the car....

I noticed on this lamp post..... This angel of a girl. Head fully covered in a light pink cloth that had quaint maps of dirt and filth from the roads..... She lay with a back curved and the only part of her physique that had the privilege of any rest seemed to be the small of her back as it touched the lamp post....
Her eyes closed.... arms wrapped around her knee.....

Her face told a million stories. Stories of pain, helplessness, acute hunger and an unexplainable sense of calm....... I can't seem to get off my head this quagmire of expressions that her face wore.
Was she asleep?
Was she awake?
Is she orphan?
Is she forced into begging?
What's her fate going to be like?
Is she going to rest at least for a few hours?
Has she eaten?
How many days has it been since she ate?
What is she going to be subject to, when she opens her eyes?
Is she one of the 'slumdogs' I have seen as in the movie?

For some reason, it felt like this life that she's trapped in was just not meant to be, for her. Something was just not right.

I mean.
What could she have possibly done to have landed her a life that probably has no meaning at all?

Her face, I can forget never.

This tender little drop of heaven in misery is something I am not able to digest.

At the stroke of the midnight hour of my birthday, I prayed. I prayed desperately. With all my heart.

That someone rescues her. That a miracle happens. And she be rescued from the shackles of inhumanness, unfairness.... And that her life suddenly transforms into that of a happy girl, learning, studying, having a place that she knows is safe...
That she turns into a millionnaire some day, and I hear of it. And I will know, somehow that it's the same girl.

Tears fill my eyes as I think of her. I've no idea why she affects me so much.
But it's just not fair. That life she had as I saw her on 17th at 11.45 in the night - is just not meant to be.

Strangely, I seem to have included her in my regular prayers now. And I believe what I wish for her will really come true.

Little Girl - I'm not able to do anything from my end other than Pray. Forgive me for my helplessness.
May you all the evil around you be rebuked. May the Lord lift you up and touch your life with abundance of blessings.
You fill me, angel.
And I know God has a way for you. And I will pray for nothing but flowers of love, wisdom and courage to be showered on you. All your life.

22 March 2012

Disdainful Judgement

Schedules hectic
Life amess
Took on more work for bread and breathes dirty air
Believes there is only one way to live on
Thinks like a horse with eye caps on
Filters glowing Red black and blue

*Ssssppppffff* she spits her half-hearted work
Maps distorted
Ego hurt
"I'm gonna get you two" she bit her teeth and told
Reads in between lines
Makes meaning of realities that exist not

*Hurrrrrr* she blames like a fat cow with horns a many
Head shakes east-to-west vigorously that
A few worms she can gobble and spit out in disgust
Scratching brains
Bleeding nose
Life ain't as pretty is it could be
She decides so, that the world must be
A place that shares her lousy misery

Spiteful. More distortions. Long long hours all of snorty pens
Scanning her finished work she smirks now with Pride
Of her undaunted fake power and will to pronounce someone loser
Scorned. Torn. Biased. Misinterpreted.

Just a few kind words spewed here and there
Makes for bizarre decoration of work so insane
Throws her disdainful pen
Tears of blood cried the pen so soft
Judgement passed

Took a deep dip in a villa nearby
Now forgotten about the eagles so far
Life trods on. No joy. No nice

But the phoenix she hurt shall someday rise

15 February 2012

Lucky or What?

I've always been asked - "How do you manage to ride two horses? Ain't being a Professional Vocalist and an Entrepreneur two equally demanding professions? You must be so lucky"

I tweeted a couple of days ago about my newest Samsung Galaxy Note and lo! Within a minute, someone replied "Neenga romba kuduthu vechhavanga" (Translation: You must be a extra lucky)

Oh and I hear from people all the time, "You've dimples! How lucky are you?!"

Makes me wonder what "Luck" and "Lucky" really is all about...

I do understand that there are Millions of people out there don't live in a house, don't get to eat 3 meals or have any of the basic necessities of life that I'm abundantly blessed with.
I don't understand that disparity... It's unfair. What can a baby newly born into the family of someone dwelling in the slum possibly do? Until he has grown his feet enough to be able to be on his own.

Birth, we don't have a choice of. We don't pick families we want to be part of.

But what comes after that - Why attribute to "Fortune", "Luck"?

Everyone has Choice. And we make choices all the time. To be an addict to some stuff lying on the road is a Choice. To have the vigor to break away from poverty or whatever his/her status may currently be and work towards an awesome quality of life is also a Choice.
So many many people today are willing to sponsor Education of a deserving one. We ourselves sponsor education of our Maid's daughter's education. She asked us for it, in her own little pristine way.
Tomorrow, when she's successful - Ain't she going to be subject to the "Lucky" label?

Life really is all about Choices.

You choose what you want out of life and work your whole heart and soul into realizing this.

I've always believed and would swear by this:
When you want something very very very fondly and so intently, the Universe will make way for its happening.

You just got to make the Choices that take you in that direction.
You train your gut.

And Most of all, Pray and Work. "Luck" doesn't come in the way of Prayers and Honest Work!

Pray and Work. Work and Pray. Let the sunshine of love bless us all with positivity, direction and wisdom to make Choices that are most Ecological for us...

14 January 2012

Oodle Doodle!:)

Meet Randy and Jodha!

Dressed to hit the party!

All Rights Reserved :)

13 January 2012


I blog today after almost two years. Thanks or No thanks to - @ajeyjustin

Phew. It's perhaps never happened that someone actually finds this excessively poorly SEO'd, hidden blog of mine - a secret almost - and literally figures my whole life out in two days!

And on twitter, this gentleman goes:
@MeghaAlsoHarini smell ur old book again....u ll know.u wer so stubborn tat u ll nt chnge ur blog..but u did,now ter is no harini..jus megha
@MeghaAlsoHarini singer megha...:P

And I'm here I am going - Phew! Has life really changed 'So Much'?

For one - I never believed I could write, ever. Writing was something that happened absolutely by accident. Rather, just a random, impulsive outbreak of emotions over some teenage laments. I used to write them in word docs and save them. And I think I almost parallelly started posting them online... Writing over an emotional overdose would actually flush out all the intensity and tone it down.. Like the transition from high tides to soft waves... Just living and moving on...
This weird blog world of anonymity and a thin envelope of care... I soon found this little space of mine being totally my own.. I was proud of it...

Felt like I could write all I want and get away with it.

I don't quite know what happened and what mooted me to stop blogging. It certainly was not a conscious decision... I guess I didn't find the need to lament as much...
And I found different other ways of expression - Facbeook, Twitter... More of the latter..

And here I am - realizing that this beautiful medium of expression that I have so fondly fostered, loved and owned needn't be abandoned for life. For no apparent reason...

Hence, Resurgence.

Lots has happened over 2 years now... Personal life, professional life... Several dreams of mine having come true... The Rahman dream, Setting up my own empire dream...

Life has but been beautiful :)

I don't think I want to fill this space with the two years that has gone by.... Rather, I shall fondle it with my thoughts, reviews, experiences starting today... for a long long way to come...

Thank you ababbleofemotions.blogspot.com for having waited for me for two years now... And thank you for welcoming me, with open arms... I won't ignore you nomore.. Really :)

And @ajeyjustin - I owe you. Thank you :)