02 September 2006


In this world where infidelity and adultery are becoming synonymous with way of life, I’d put my foot down and say that I’m still definitely pro-marriage. I know for a fact that I will not play around with sentiments of my life, my spouse’s, my parents and that of society’s. Commitment is a loosely shunted word. But do people even realize the seriousness of a so-called “commitment”? Human minds sway, but I believe that a strong and a committed individual will not go by these infatuations. Marriage is not about committing to your spouse. It is about commitment to oneself. I want to scream into the minds of all those fickle-minded men --- DON’T ever marry, if you can’t stick to one woman!

In India, some people marry because of parental pressure, peer pressure, societal pressure. Are individuals who fall into those categories, ever happy? Some of them reconcile themselves to fate and live life. And for the others, the d-word comes to the rescue. Yes, I’m talking about divorce. Not so uncommon afterall.

We’re caught between the fantasies of what the heart says and practicalities of the mind’s eye. In reality, we live in between these two extremes.

Singledom can be blissful for those who are extremely career-oriented, who can fend for themselves and who’d like to live on their own terms without being questioned. Marriage is all about a life full of togetherness and love that comes along with making reasonable adjustments and sacrifices.

So all you freakin capricious, vacillating people (I mean MEN) out there, GROW UP!! Marriage is a wonderful institution. But get into this commitment only if you can commit to yourself. Else, stay away from it. Save yourself the sin of ruining a woman’s life.


vinay said...

well..if this passage is a result of watching KANK..well..i dont have anything to say..if it is not....then lemme ask a question....how about the many people..i mean men whose life have been ruined by women!!!!you are seeing only one side of the coin...
remember not all men are devils(i mean me)..and not all women are angels(i mean you :-)))!!!!
well..as for me..i think marriage is a wonderful institution..but....

rajesh r s said...


I display similar sentiments, except for this little detail that a relationship is formed by two people, in a situation of mutual give and take, sometimes from each other and most often from society. Your idea on committing to one's own internalizations about marriage is definitely workable, but only if both parties are enlightened in this aspect.

I think you are far too quick to generalize that vaccillating people are more often MEN, since its common sense that an adulterous man is helped by another adulterous woman! It does not take much imagination to discover that the man's life is ruined, as well.

Harini said...

we've discussed this on orkut.. did we really hav a concensus though?

@ rajesh r s
i was speaking for an opressed woman...
i've seen too many vacillating men.. **chokes**
no offense. i'm NOT a feminist. but there ARE somethings that totally rip me off... adulterous men are one among them..
sure, there are adulterous women. they deserve to be hanged as well.
NOONE has the right to ruin the life of another human being...

at the end of the day, i belive "what goes around comes around"

broken arrows and bent spears said...

i completely agree to what you have said. i'd say that today's generation( me included) doesnt know the seriousness of ANYTHING.

Harini said...

@broken arrows and bent spears
i dont think so, anjana.. i think you're MUCH more serious than you claim to be :)

Twisted DNA said...

"that I’m still definitely pro-marriage"
Er... I would like to point out a technicality. All the adultrers are pro-marriage too, you know. They have to be married to perpetrate adultry ;)

Secondly, why single out MEN!? I know woman who happily partake of the fun.

Thirdly, I like the force in which you write things

Harini said...

@twisted dna

i'm pro marriage. yes! but NOT wit the mentality of an adultrer!

about singling MEN.. well, i'm speaking for the oppressed women.. those who's lives are taken for granted by terrible MEN..

not trying to be a feminist here.. i stil adore men!!!
but i definitely feel very strongly about men who take advantage of women.. hence, the force! :)

Srikanth said...

totally agree with you,but then,come to think of it,we do need to chalk out reasons as to why infedility has crept into society.Is it because of the westernisation of our values or just because of the breakup of the joint family?Indian families were immune to breakup partly because the woman would accept the position of the man as the head of the house,but today,as women compete with men for the top spot,there is a lot of internal strife within themsleves...this is not to prove that im a male chauvanis...but to remind ppl that times have changed andcompromise is the essence of a healthy marriage :)