Buzzzzzzzz........

I wish I were a bee…
Like a nice chrome yellow bumble-bee…
I dunno if I’d sting and all..
But yeah, I’d love to manufacture honey.
Maybe even sell it to dabur.
So that they can add all that they add and sell it in bottles.
With my picture on it.
But I’m a fat bumble bee. With dimples.
So they should just put my picture.
And mention – “Source: this pretty bumbee called Harini”

How’d I go about manufacturing honey?
I’ll first fly all around…
Chennai Bangalore everywhere..
I’ll go to Singapore also. And meet some bee friends of mine there..
Yeah, so I’ll pick a pretty garden..
With many color color flowers.
Pink. Purple. Red. Pink..
I’ll go flower-hopping..
I’ll dance tra-la-la-la… and sing aloud…
All flowers around are jus gonna watch my performance in awe
They’ll all call me to their home..
And I’ll dance and sing for all of them..
Special bum-dance for certain extra nice flowers I’ll do..
And I’ll go to my home with loads of nectar.
All my baby bees would be waiting for me..
So would my hubby bee..
I’ll give him a hug… and put them all to sleep.
But God made me a queen bee.
So I have to work. Tirelessly.
I’ll store all the nectar in my hood.
And then call dabur boys.
I wont let them burn us up.
I’ll jus give them my honey generously.
cos’ they’re making me famous
By putting my picture on their bottles
that reads – Source: “this pretty bumbee called Harini”

Booooo...

i made that bhooth.
i was making my way to the r t o, but i took the wrong turn and ended up in a sudugaadu... thanks to certain ppl :P
full insipiration came off. the bhooth in moi sprouted.
hence, the art work.
dont smirk. i'd like to call it that.


ps. sudugaadu - graveyard.

Bitchini. Thats my new name.
I'm not skimpily clad.
But slightly full angeryilycrazy mood.
Hence, Bitchini.

Mi$hmasH

if you were to take a scan of my brains,
this is exactly how it will look.
now.

Huhn?

Beat boxing?!?! Huhn.

Dabba dabba dee dooo deeeeee thuba thuba thuba poooooooooooooo!

Yay! I’ve become American Idol, too..!

Honors please? An album for me, perhaps?

**smirk**

For you, Shooti...

shooti ma, here's my treat.... i cant treat you in person now.. but please accept this for me...

lots of love,
me :)

PS - to all: shooti knows why i'm treating her! :)

Happens, sometimes…

More often than not, we forget the fact that at the end of the day, all of us, are HUMANS… “Saadhaarna manidhargal”, susceptible to make mistakes…
In this fast-track world full of rubbing shoulders and struggle, one is ALWAYS under the pressure to perform to one’s best…. Sad but true, that CANNOT happen all the time…. Reasons could be psychological, highly practical, one of those everything’s-wrong-about-today kinda days…. Or it could even be just a state of mind, that doesn’t allow someone to perform to their fullest potential on a particular day. And I certainly think that is pardonable, rather entirely justifiable…

On that note, I realize how much ‘pressure’ can affect a person’s confidence levels, mental state – results of which are evident, rather tangibly. We must learn to ACCEPT failure (if I could call it that), gracefully.

I’m no big shot. I’m not even close to becoming one. Neither do I want to.
Everyone faces his/her fair share of pressures everyday…. My passion-turned-part time-profession Singing has put me under those numerous circumstances of pressure…
To cite the latest – “SPB Ennoda Paatu Paadungal”….
Well, to even be seated around the legend would give the best of singers goosebumps, or even those weird stomach itches… Needless to say, to be given a chance to sing in front of him with the cameras right on your face is all the more ghastly…. It’s just overwhelmingly frightening…
It so happened, that I picked a tough song, I thought I could pull off well…. I still believe so. However, I took the whole thing too casually, I kept humming the song along with the track and assumed I got it all right. Went straight over for the rehearsal and messed up the song from top to toe. That was like a slap on my face for being so over-confident. I was all geared up clear the mess I made of myself. That day was tiring though – sitting in a dingy room with no fan from 9 to 5…. I decided to get myself a good night’s sleep and start working on the song afresh from the next day. My plans went kaboom when I received a call at 8.30 that night from jaya tv, promptly intimating me about recording the very next morning! Highly unexpected. Pooh. I suffered that night.. *very very very tired* *angry* *depressed* *tensed*.. I still managed to practice hard until my voice finally gave up…
Went for shooting early next morning… Ran over the song a zillion times in my head. I still dint have a good feeling though… I knew I’d do better than the rehearsal (thanks to practice session that night).. I wasn’t praying for miracles to happen. When I was finally called on stage to sing, I dint have the presence of mind to even drink water before getting there, my throat was all dry and dead. And there I was, trying to sing one of the toughest songs, ever… I sang like a pregnant woman, taking deep breaths after every word, leaving everyone in unease.
A lot of lessons I learnt – 1. NEVER get on stage without copious amounts practice...2. pick songs that showcase MY style more than anything else... 3. Sometimes, things go wrong, take it well….
The show was telecasted this Saturday…. It’s more like public disgrace of myself… But no, I’m not as embarrassed as I should be. I KNOW I can sing better than that. The same song. Its easy to hold responsible those ‘extra’ factors and say it-was-jus-not-my-day.. But no again, I blame myself just as much as I blame those ‘extra’ factors…
I know I will not hit the stage once again, without adequate practice. I’m working towards it, and I will get there, someday……
This hasn’t been my only ‘failure’…. There are numerous along the lines of music that I can cite…. My very first recording with the maestro Illayaraja that bombed, my very first recording with Yuvan that just slipped outta my hand, my two attempts with L V Ganesh that failed miserably…. If I let these affect me, I should probably quit singing :). But I won’t…
I forgive myself for not doing my best sometimes, cos’ that never happens deliberately. I choose to laugh off those pretty many horrible-singing-instances and take a break from having to be the best all the time…
Nonetheless, I’ll do all I can to keep moving up the progress-line…
On that note, I look back at my lil achievements and sign off, with a big smile….. :)

Snowed down by the power of music…

Music is such an ocean… Limitless… Boundaryless… Timeless…

It takes a whole cycle of births and deaths to attain moksha, saints say. I wonder if that entire cycle is enough time to understand the depths of music… its technicalities, its complexities…

If God gives me one wish, I KNOW now, that I’m gonna ask him for musical bliss, and nothing else. I want to throw myself into the ocean, and forget myself… all I want to hear is the resonance of Om, ringing in my ears, all the time…

More often than not, people put on some music in the background and go about doing their work…..
Try this – shut yourself out from the rest of the world. Turn off lights. Plug your headphones. Turn up volume. Put on some soul-stirring music… Close your eyes…
I lose myself, everytime I do this…. It transports me to an unknown undiscovered world full of mystery and calm. I place this experience 20 steps higher than meditation even. Such is the power of music. Listening to the resonance of every single instrument in isolation even when they’re all played as one, into your eyes…

I feel taken over sometimes, when I’m blinded amidst magic of music… While my eyes are hooked to the farther most it can see, from the beach shores whilst the waves dance to the rhythm of an indefinitely powerful force… While I kneel before the shrine, my heart at His feet… While I’m drunk on the sounds of tanpura…. While crooning raag yaman kalyani….. the experience is divine.. far beyond heavenly…

‘Voice’ is one of the biggest wonders of the world. One of the finest creations of God.. No two people in the world sound the same. It is one instrument that can be cultured and refined to melody…. I’m not going to let my voice rot another single day… I will nurture it, mother it and foster it with all my heart, for myself and for God…

Parting Ways...

The depths of emotions I feel right now… Its something the numb me hasn’t felt in a long long time… I’m quite out of the “comfortably numb” shell I got myself into, almost a year ago…. I realize now, that I’m stil my same old emotional self.. just that, it hits not as often as it used to earlier….

I kinda got used to people walking in and out of my life…. I psyched myself to believe that I’m “okay” with it….
Everything’s changing in my life. Coll over. I’m not happy with results. I gotta job. I don’t have a PG admission. All this is still okay.. BUT shooti’s leaving…….

It dint hit me all along, until I had a gtalk convo with her, like a couple of minutes ago….. Shooti is one of my closest friends ever….. I cried like this exactly a year ago, when certain inevitable things happened in my life….. parting with shooti, feels just the same……the same… the same…….

What shooti’s done to my life, I wouldn’t ever be able to write… She’s made me feel pretty, she’s patted my back when I deserved it, she’s wacked my ass when I needed it, she’s mothered me all along.. she’s helped me grow into the person I am, from the very naïve, gullible fool that I was once….. she bears with me even when I’m most annoying, moody, nutty…. Tolerant. In totality.

Shooti has always ensured she gives me her time… infinite hours on phone, those “moments” we’ve shared over a pastry, at the temple...... I don’t know. Words are getting stuck somewhere in my head. It just wont come…
She’s leaving… she’s going away to Singapore to her daddy and mommy and tush bro boy… Embarking upon her, a whole new life.. new country, new people.. carrying with her, some very special memories, chasing the sun…. She’s leaving behind people whom I know mean the world to her…. her friends…… Shooti has however left with me, priceless possessions – her songs. Very pretty songs, that she guards and feeds like a baby to her bosom…..

I know I’m a lucky bitch for having gotten to have her in my life. She’s way too special to me. You won’t know how much. I really don’t know why life has to get us all to part ways…..

Shooti, I’ve been writing this thru our conversation….. it looks battered and unorganized.. but I guess, that’s how its meant to be. I wanted to TRY expressing what I feel for you. But words fail me so bad. I hate myself.

Shooti, its HARD……. Its so hard. Really. You don’t know…. All along, it wasn’t hitting me….. I don’t know why this one convo of ours pushed me to the extremes of my emotions……. So much so, I cant write.

Girl. You will live. And you will live well. Noone can stop that from happening. Not even God… You jus be a good thing that you already are, Shooti. I don’t know. I’m going now. I can’t write more, bye. I want to cry. In peace. Bye.



ps. - thats shooti and me. all smiling and happy.... thats how i feel, when i think of her.... shooti, you're my everything shooti. you be happy and nice.....

TAG... Picked it up from Nisi..

1. One thing you are very much afraid of?
Losing near and dear ones..

2. Two incidents you can never forget in your life?
Incident 1: Was skipping away to Hindi class wearing a pretty skirt at 7am. I get SLAPPED hard on my right cheek by one mad woman… Done ask me why. That’s unsolved mystery.
Incident 2: Again in the 6th grade – when I was lost in the pee world, not realizing the bolt dint work… A senior happened to get a glimpse of moi and slammed the door back on my face, terrified. Now, now, DON’T over imagine!!!

3.Three books you would love reading again and again?
I don’t read much.. However they’d be..
i. Stop worrying and start thinking – Dale Carnegie
ii. My ‘memoir’ book that my friends filled in the 12th grade, and now in coll…
iii. Nisi + Moi’s paper presentations.. hehe

4. Four women who are most beautiful?
i. Amma
ii. Gautami (My favvvvvvvvv lil cousin. She’s BEAUTIFUL.)
iii. Varunika Vyas (one sweet girl with no false pretense)
iv. Sameera Reddy

5.Five of you favorite food items?
i. chaat
ii. suda suda suda parupu sadham with loads of ghee
iii. ANYTHING sweet
iv. Idiappam Stew
v. Karudam

6.Six words you use very often oral/written?
i. Too much for your FACE
ii. Podi kuppi
iii. LOSER!!
iv. You’re such a weirdo, that’s what you are.
v. Pooh.
vi. Macha..

7.Seven things you like about yourself?
i. I’m very very very caring
ii. I’m sweet
iii. I love my voice
iv. I speak fairly well
v. I’ve LOVELY friends
vi. I’m a silly kid at heart
vii. My moods oscillate….

8. Eight film personalities who are your all time favorites?
i. Tabu
ii. Jyotika
iii. Rani Mukherjee
iv. Rahul Bose
v. Jennifer Aniston
vi. Meera Jasmine
vii. Mathew Perry
viii. Madhavan

9.Nine movies you wont mind watching again and again?
i. Mozhi
ii. Kannathil muthamittal
iii. Bend it like Beckham
iv. Sirahugal
:( everyone knows I aint a movie buff.. and I cant churn out more. However, I love the movies I mentioned…

10.Ten songs you would like to listen to everyday?
i. Most of Mariah Careys.. they’re divine
ii. Rakshagan – Kanava illae kaatra
iii. Guru – Ay Hairathe
iv. Varalaaru – Theeyil vizhindha thaena
v. Pavitra – Uyirum Neeye
vi. Beatles – Let it be
vii. Nisi – Ode to Women
viii. Dulaari – Suhaani Raat
ix. Kaanaa inbam kanindhadheno
x. Desulavuthey

I tag.. Ghanshyam, Painah, Sparrow, The Visitor, Akx, Anjana, Venk...

TWENTY!

Two decades ago, I lay
with my eyes closed, hands fastened,
clasped in my makers’ bosom..

One decade ago, I beam
with my pretty pink frock, red lipstick,
milk teeth making way for vampire-like ones..

Here I am, today…
Carrying memories weighing a twenty years,
Frozen and Numb….


20 years! Phew! It’s not sinking in!!
Despite my claiming to “age gracefully”, being twenty does feel different! And a lot older.. a wee wiser as well! :) To mark this day where my life’s almanac ticks twenty, I had a bunnnnnnnnnnnch of people who’ve made it incredibly special for me…



At dot twelve came in tons of hugs and wishes from all my friends who wouldn’t let me stop smiling for the next couple of hours… Indu mole promptly lit the first wick of my birthday’s kuthuvilakku, followed by Shooti wooti, Cheri berry, the happy budday ringtone gifter Prashanth, Preethi saroj, Barath, Sandy brandy, my lil drunk Sanju, Valu baby and the Bangalore brainchild Vidyashankar.. :)
Mommy and daddy gave me a bear-hug and wished their twenty-year old monument a life of a hundred years… And my bro gave me a sheepish grin, a conscious hug, whispered “happy birthday” and off he went, perching himself in front of the television that telecasted the rather ugly India-Bangladesh match…

Woke up this morning, with Nitu’s call… Jerked out of my bed when the Sand man called! Went to the Ganesh temple with mumma, lit lamps and prayed for my dearest… Paid visit to another temple on my way back home, just to find my lil bro awaiting me with his hand-assembled “basket of goodies” as he likes to call it.. :) In it I find, pretty combs, a Japanese fan, rose tissues, nailpolishes (and a remover to compliment it), pens… and a lil card writ in ink conveying his birthday wishes… Mommy then gave me the very pretty sarees she bought for me (perhaps, signifying that I’m getting older!)… :)

Hand full of goodies, I enter my music-filled room, and hear shrieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks followed by a “happy birthday” in chorus! The dumb-struck me shook my head and saw Nisi, Shooti, Icy, Taki, Arch, Sangee, Sandy and Swa flashing their brilliant thirtytwo! The dumb-founded me broke down, completely overawed by the ‘surprise’…. “Phoo”, I blew my n number of candles and cut my pretty brown cake, feeding these babies turn after turn… I got myself an ample ounce of sweet-butter on my moonji(courtesy:Nisi)… and on my hair too(courtesy:Sangee)… I looked something like this:



Then came the gift-opening session…. Taki, Icy, Arch, Nisi’s skirt+mug+mask+jewel box+pretty paper bag+hand made card…. Sandy Swa’s terracotta wall-hanging+grand top+earrings+ mobile pouch… Shooti’s antique face-vase+pearl chain+ram earrings+kutti rings… Sangee’s very thoughtful embroidery kit+pearl earrings+chappal keychain+mobile phone accessories!!!! **my moonji all lit up right now**

Soon after, I did some very appalling “manly” bum-shake to Sean Paul’s Get Busy that completely took away the moments of grace that swa jus delivered with her “Kajra re”… I then, coyly took over the camera to video-fy the danseurs perform – ‘variya ‘and the many songs to follow!

Then came the birthday-girl decking session! All my newly acquired properties were strategically placed all over my body… take a look!!!!!



Meanwhile, mommy made us all a mini-lunch.. Sambhar saadham, alu fry, senakezhangu masiyal, cabbage-peas curry, curd rice, vadumaanga and chips! We kottified beautifully… yapped around for a while, and then the pretty girls went back to their abode… Milli-seconds later, I found myself weeping into my pillow…
Nisi, Shooti, Icy, Taki, Arch, Sangee, Sandy and Swa – thanks a million… you really made my day, so special, so special.. very very special.. To see us all coming together and having such a good time on my birthday was completely overwhelming… really really touched by your gesture, bumbees.. love you all… so much. Thanks a ton…

Lolling at home.. watching tv… orkuting…. Went out in the evening to see the sleep + alcohol deprived S man, who promptly blurted “you look FAT in this dress!” Grrrr…. I chewed his brains off for a while… made him watch aaalllllll the videos in my cam. Nibbled some cookies and then got back home… With this, I call it a day. A special one.

Vikram, Arjun-puri-ganga aunty, Abhi, Sid P, Giriesh, Shitu, Vivek, Rsn, Vanita, Tanu, Benny, Prasad, Vijay, Prakash, Sandeep, Vasuda, Perima, thanks a ton for calling in…
Shweta, Manoj, Vasan, Biju, Sid Deb, Aks, Priya, KK, Deepu, Saikat, Vidya, Mansa, Arjun, Ritesh, Reynah, Preethi, Anthea, Gautam, thanks a ton for messaging in…
Divya Bharath, Vidya, thanks so much for emailing in…
Not forgetting to mention, every one of you who’ve left me orkut scraps… I know I had eight pages full of wishes…. Overwhelming… Thanks so much :)
**hugs** to all you guys… Love you all…

Cheers and smiles,
Me :)

PS: Awaiting lunch with the V boy tom.. With that, my birthday celebs would rest, for the year! :)

The Pensive Me...

i love this pic... i really do...
i was telling shooti that it should form the cover of a novel! :D :D

for some reason, this picture captures EXACTLY my current moodswing... i dunno..


conceptualized and created by ms. omniscient - nisi bisi dearest :)
nis - thanks a ton :) :)

MY LITTLE BROTHER…

I jus wrote a testimonial for my brother on orkut and I’m in all tears…

My lil bro turns 14 tomorrow and I love him oh so much. For some silly reason, I’ve been awfully excited about his birthday for like a few months now. I wouldn’t be able to sleep in peace if I don’t drive him crazy everyday with my loud “babiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, you’re birthday’s coming!!!”… and ah. He used to almost ridicule me for being so silly…

I keep telling my mum, that he should’ve been the elder one in my family, instead of me…. Cos it really feels like he is my elder brother…. And I’m the nutty me, screaming “coo” into his ears; sitting on his lap; filling my mum’s ears with complaints about him not spending time with me; shutting his book when he’s deep into reading and laughing my boisterous laugh; pinnnnnnnching his cheeks until he screams “hariniiiiiiiii stop it”; half opening the door when he’s back from school and slamming it back saying “you can stay out” – the only difference being, he slams the door back on me with his newly developed arm muscles (well, he was stick thin a few months ago.. and suddenly he’s become a power-boy!)..

It’s like I don’t want time to move on so fast. It’s moving on, a lil too fast. Coll’s over even before I digest the fact that I’m in college… My parents are saying stuff like, “finishing studying now, get on your feet soon after.. we wanna get you married down three years”….. Tomorrow is my bro’s birthday and he’s actually turning 14!! Nothing seems to be the same… everything’s changing… and a little too fast…

I go back to those days, where my brother was safe and cozy in my mum’s womb. I remember how proudly I beamed to all my 1st grade friends, that I’m gonna hav a lil baby bro/sis…. I remember the day, 14 years ago, when my dad frantically ran from pillar to post trying to save my mum’s life with some many litres of blood that the doctors demanded “urgently”, for she was in a “critical” state… God’s grace, both the baby and the mother are safe… I was dumbfounded when I first saw this little living being, beside my mum… awfully tiny hands folded so tight, microscopic legs, nose, ears, brown hair… I clung onto my dad’s arms and watched the lil thing, lost in its own world… sleeping…….

We’ve come a long way through… I distinctly remember every moment of his life…. Even those horrible days in the hospital, when he was battling to breathe, jus six months after he was born….. stubborn child he was… and he still is! :)
I loved those days when I was in the fifth grade…. Bro and I used to go to crèche together.. I used to waiiiiiiit for my school bell to ring at the end of the day… I would rush to the cycle stand and peddle as fast as I could, with all my might, to bail my brother out of the crèche... :)



He’s a big boy now... A whole fourteen years old…! A boy who has gathered a lot of traits, attitude, learning, notions, over time….. I guess I’ll take a while to get used to him growing!! As of now, I’m just awed by him, his rate of growth (which is absolutely normal.. just that, I’m still stuck in the past)…

I cherish every moment we've spent together… When he quietly perches on my bike and puts his arms round me, while I ride.. When we hold hands and cross the road as I lead us on with my ridiculous way of wading through vehicles waiting to kill us… When we go out to eat chaat or grab a pastry off and on… Those rare occassions when he says “how was your day…”… Those days when I don’t get home on time, and he very caringly asks Amma “why isn’t Harini back home”… When he says "congrats" and pats my back when i come back with a prize..... Priceless moments… Moments that will remain etched in my memory, forever….


Dearest Baabi bro, I really really love you… You completely rock… I hope you’ve read your testimonial on orkut… Have a wonderful birthday… God bless you.. :)



Spread your wings and fly high...... like a butterfly..........

TAKE TWO

Here is an ongoing conversation of two wonderful people namely Mr. Ghanshyam and Ms. Harini. Mr. Ghanshyam is a final year student of Viscom (a line that’s still a mystery to him). He’s a very talented singer and most importantly, a foodie. Ms. Harini is a final year student of B.Com (and she’s dying to graduate). She’s an upcoming singer and again, a big foodie.

The two of them bump into each other on orkut on a Friday evening, as the blogger in Harini does the recording.


H: gimme a lil while.. i'll go gobble food. else i'll cry.
G: eat, girl, to your heart's content...
H: i always eat to my heart's content. which is why my tummy is as big as my heart. rather, bigger.
G: no match for mine, surely?
H: you're a boy. you CAN afford to get heftier.. i cant :(
G: that doesn't make sense to me at all... i thought you're a crusader for equal rights for women and stuff? you're exercising your right to get hefty...
H: lol. bt i dont want to....
i wanna be half my weight!
hehehe.
G: you think i'm proud of my girth? i'm just trying to think up the bright side of being nearly spherical.
H: jus like i always claim that this is a man's world...
i also think its a "slim's world"...
mind you, not THIN.. but SLIM!
G: that is the sad truth i have come to accept... but then sometimes being psychologically slim does just enough to make people forget you aren't quite physically slim... actually, that's all crap, a little more of looking on the bright side...





H: (out of the blue) curd rice, maanga oorga tastes like HEAVEN...............................
(H jus got herself some curd rice maanga oorga, that her amma had beeeeeeautifully pesenjified and put in a kutti dabba for her to eat along with a spoon.. **smiles**)
G: ah, yes... so too does onion rava, and plain dosa, and oothappam, and most things edible...
paruppu sadam drenched with ghee is quite nice too!
H: parupu saadham drenched with gheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..............
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh. suda suda suda suda. vethakozhambu or sambhar to thottufy. and alu frrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and applaaaaaaaaaaaam!
i wanna eat. now now now now now...
G: hehe... i love simple stuff, like poricha kootu, pumpkin or podalanga or cabbage... and some of the stuff me mum makes in the evenings... what can i say... simply divine... like pudi kozhukattai... mor kali... puli aval... man i simply looooove me mum's cooking!
H: iyer saapaadu rocks, dont you think?
specially kalyana saapaadu!
and i've NEVER not put on.. ATLEAST two kgs, everytime there's a relative's wedding at home..
you must probably ask sangee, what a saapaatu raami i am!
G: hehe... being rotund is all for a good cause, i guess... but some of my friends eat three times as much as i do, and look like straws... unfair...
H: ABSOLUTELY. tell me about it...
and that's GROSSELY (if its a typo, ignore it) unfair..
:( life IS so MEAN................. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i wanna scream.

Valentines Day... Grrr....

There's NOTHING so nice about V day. Its jus such a farce... Some man-made love-red-valentine-date shit.. I dont like it. I just dont. I mean, I really dont...

In the last 19 V day's i've seen so far, NONE of them have been nice. NONE. Then why such hype for this one blessed day? Arrrgh. Its not even funny.

Mistake-me-not. I dint have a bad day today. Today was like a 100 shades better than the previous 18.. and it was BLISSFUL as compared to that of last year... Ah. I dont wanna get started on that one.... **painful sigh**

But one thing's for sure. I'm never going V day partying-dating-wishing-red'ing-lov'ing (I dint, this year.. AND I wont, ever).. Its some crappy hoax. And I dont like it.

Man.. V day makes me SO ANGRY. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........

PS: O that red evil heart is my art piece! **sheepish grin**

Me: Life is fucky and sucky. I wanna fuck the suck out of my life.
Nisi: ur rambling..

Me: Life is fucky and sucky. I wanna fuck the suck out of my life.
Reynah Painah: cant help u much here... vaccuum cleaner, perhaps?


(Maybe i'll delete this post in a while. For now, let it just be there.)

Coll life, at a glance...

No particular reason, but I jus realized I end up blogging everytime I want to rant... For a change, I choose to look at the other side of the hedge...

Despite the fact that college (more specifically my department) assumes it has the birthright of converting human-beings into load-carrying donkeys, there still are some things I owe due to credit to college for:

Internship:
I’d never have had the opportunity to be exposed to the world of glamour, fashion shows, event management, buying-eggs-for-your-boss and carrying-your-boss’s-bag kinda situations, but for my internship at Iris, thanks to college! This was followed by a very professional HR-career management-employee empowerment, 9-6 office, team meetings, deadlines kinda job at OfficeTiger... again, thanks to college! If this had not been a part of curriculum, work-life would still have been something I hadn’t laid my hands on... I’ve built for myself, a lovely social circle as well… I know better now, about what I my career should be like…

MOP bazaar:
This is perhaps one of the BEST things that MOP does for us… This venture has boosted the confidence I had in myself.. Exposed me to the joy of doing business… Some day, I’d like to set up my own business.. I will… Someday….

Presentations:
Nisi, Shooti and me have done the most number of presentations in my opinion.. and I KNOW that my presentation skills have improved with every presentation we’ve made so far… I’ve learnt a good deal from Nisi and Shooti… We’re three over-pressurized souls but somehow, we manage to pull it off really well… this completely offsets for the hard times that we have pre-presentations…

Culturals:
Nisi and I have sentiments attached to college culturals… We breathe music for a whole month before we get on stage… and we rock! Atleast, we used to! Thanks to our super-seniors…

Apart from the above that have helped me develop myself, I’ve learnt a lot of important lessons during these three years:
 People walk in and out of your life; move on unabashed.
 EVERYONE backbites, bitches; get used to it.
 Jealousy is inevitable; ignore it.
 Sometimes, people are DIFFICULT; become tolerant.
 It’s okay to be rude, sometimes.
 People take advantage of you; be assertive.
 It’s not a bad thing to be a bitch at times.
 Sometimes, people are artificially sweet; play along if you have to.

It’s almost over now… 3 whole years… and it did go by real quick… It’s time already where we’re all busy filling each one’s slam books (I should probably call it college memory books), blogging about college reminiscences, planning farewell, planning future, a time where you just fix your gaze on a friend of yours and you’re lost in thought with of the hazaar instances you’ve yelled, cursed, laughed with each other… Yes, college life is over, for all of us.. Sometimes it feels like its sunk in… Sometimes, I really don’t know if I’m ready to digest the uncertainty that stands before me…

I really dunno if I’m gonna miss college per se; I miss school…. But college? I dunno yet..

My dear college friends (more specifically nisi icy taki shooti sangee sandy swa arch) – Here’s hoping we keep in touch, for years to come (to whatever extent possible practically)… We’ve had some wonderful times together.. also, times when we’ve wanted to strangle each other… nevertheless, lets carry happy memories and move on… Here’s hoping all of you life a lovely life… Someday, we’ll all bump into each other and cry or laugh our hearts out, reminiscing these days…..

Cheers to all you guys, who’ve made me cry and put a smile on my face in all these years…

**Hugs**
Me :)

LEAVE ME ALONE, WILL YOU?

Every other person: “Hey! You’re graduating now… What next??”
Me: Grrrrrrrrr… I DUNNO.
I really DUNNO.
I wish I knew though.

Some pretty souls: “Hey! You were doing CA, right? How’s it coming along? Cleared?”
Me: Ha. NO. I quit. 2 years ago. **snap**


My older brothers and sisters: “Work and then do your MBA.. You can get the best out of it, only then.”
Me: Okay, brother, sister. Point noted.


Amma, Appa: “You will get NOWHERE with your B.Com. Study now, or never.”
Me: Umm…. I’ll try ma.. I’ll try pa.. I will. I will.
MSW -- **ponder** **pondering**


Random people: MSW???????? What’s thaaaaaaaaaaat?
Me: Uh… it’s called Masters in Social Work. I intend specializing in HR.
Random people: Ohhhh! **giggles**
Me: **wearing a ‘what’s so funny’ look**

Orkut friends: Hey! Wassup with your singing “career”?
Me: Dude! I don’t have one. I wish I did, though!
**Arrrrrgh**

Coll friends: You can sing macha… You’re settled.. What will I do?
Me: Do you REALLY think I’m “settled”?!?!?! **blink blink**

Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Oldies, Youngies: How was CAT?
Me: Next question, please!
Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Oldies, Youngies: How was XAT?
Me: **eyes rolling** Don’t you get it??? NEXT QUESTION PLEASE!!

The yo-people: Oi! Write gmat, go abroad and study na!
Me: hehe. You’ll gimme money???!
**now should I laugh or should I cry?**

Me to ALL: dear everyone, thanks for showering concern… Leme think in isolation and figure out what I wanna do… and when I decide, I’ll tell you..
Until then, leave me alone, will you?!

Bring it on...!

O Holy 2007!
What do thou have in store for moi?
A year full of work and toil?
Are you trying to remake me into a dustbin?
Or are you just trying to tantalize me beyond a point where I’ll crack?
I don’t get it.
Maybe you’re just trying to get me to work for every crumb
like an ant?
Why oh why?
I love being lazy..
Why won’t you let me yawn my way into fairyland in class?
Why won’t you let me do my anchor stitchkits in peace?
Or atleast let me socialize for God’s sake!

You’ve turned my life into that of a bee. A busy bee.
Come; take a look into my calendar.
Google. Google. Google.
Enough. I’ve googled enough.
Ppt. Ppt. Ppt.
Enough. I’ve made enough presentations.
Cat. Xat. Tiss.
I’ve had enough and more of all this (as well).
Aaaaaaaaaah! Are you deaf?
Can you REALLY not hear me scream?
2007! O holy 2007!
Yeah, pun intended.
You aint holy.
You’re jus mean.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
I wanna go on a holiday.
Let me go.
SPARE ME.
I’ll come back and then you can go about your dumping business.

Go easy, though.
Have a heart. I’m just a human being.
Not a cow. Not a bee. Not an ant.
Pooh. I’m doing all that you’re shoving on me now,
If not anything else, gimme fruit. Nice ripe ones.
Will you? Oh, will you?

Well, you’re the master.
I’m your slave.
You’re telling me that my ‘jobless days’ are over.
All over. Once and for all.
Hmmph. Sounds positively disgusting.
Nevertheless, I’m gonna try and digest that…
Not like you’re giving me a choice.
Gimme the strength and courage to face
all the challenges you are throwing on me.
Make me strong. Make me fearless.
Chi. Rejuvenate chi in my body.
Light some incense sticks in my mind. Vacuum clean my brains.
Let me face all that you’re tossing on me
With a difference. A different mindset.
A positive one. A positive one.
**Deep Breath**
Come 2007. Bring it on… Gimme more.
I’ll do it. I’ll do it all…
I will stand tall…
I will be a champion.
I will. Yes, I will.

An Eye for an Eye, the Finger for Defense

My mum has been trying to inject into my head for a while now, about the ‘joy of morning walks’… Every article about exercise, restricting food, not succumbing to temptation, morning walk, calorie watch and the like piles up on my table everyday. One fine day, Harini decides to explore the ‘joy’, I made an impulsive purchase of really expensive Nike shoes, tracks and tees. Now, that’s supposed to be a pushing factor…!

With all my newly acquired accessories, I set out for walks every morning like a happy little puck, with my mum in a park nearby. Listening to the radio, watching people around, listening to the birds chirp, gardeners watering plants, stray dogs sniffing around… It was a different experience altogether, leaving me rejuvenated and afresh for the rest of the day…

However, today was different. Painfully different. After a horrible night’s disturbing, half baked sleep, I reluctantly pulled myself out of the bed… Just one of those i-don’t-feel-good-today kinda days… My mum dragged me for the walk and pooh. This is how it goes. Two rounds of brisk walk and I feel a little better.. Just then, there was this corporation boy in a blue shirt who yelled “What the hell do you think of yourself?” Loud enough for me to turn back and look. His eyes were blood red. He snapped his fingers and pointed at me and said again “You! What the hell do you think of yourself”. I was nonplussed. I ignored and walked on… He ran past me and stood right in front of me. He folded his tongue, his eyes dissecting me from top to toe and he said “What, what?!” I showed him the finger and walked on… the ego-crushed soul vomited all the foul words that he knew in tamil. There was another man, watching this happen… He was in the other extreme. He kept giving me sheepish grins, and to my worst horror, I realized he was treating himself to glory. His mouth and his organ, drooling profusely. Completely disgusted, I ran out of there, looked for my mum and rushed my way back home. Home sweet home.

WHAT do men get outta stalking women? I wish I could shove a needle up that drooler’s trunk and hammer a nail on the boy’s throat. Agreed, women can be bitches. But NO. They don’t stoop down to the level of harassing a man. Every woman has that little dignity which these men lack in totality. We still live in a man’s world, don’t we?